OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / WHAT DO I DO

**Posted by Helpme25** November 4, 2021 9:16 pm

I found texts between my husband and his gay friend my husband said ‘bring that ass’
the friend replied with wow you want it again

And another text of my husband saying he is dying to put his soft cock in him

I should call it my husband’s boyfriend.

I don’t know what to do now what do I do

Last edited by Helpme25 (November 7, 2021 3:42 pm)

**Posted by Soaplife** November 4, 2021 11:25 pm

HelpMe25 Thats awful - but pretty clear evidence. Sounds like there's nothing to work with if he's already cheating with men.

Stop having any sexual contact with him and get tested for STIs as soon as you can.

I suggest you quietly see a divorce lawyer who can advise you of your rights and what you could expect in a divorce. Some lawyers offer an initial free consultation.

If you are in the USA this website has advice about free or low cost legal advice and other resources for every US state.

womenslaw.org

Also chumplady website has lots of advice, support and stories from lots of people who have been betrayed by their spouses.

Don't talk to him or wait for more evidence. Get out in front and start making your plans.

Good luck. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 5, 2021 12:32 am

I second Soap's advice. Your health is more important than any questions you may have.
Stop having sex with him and get tested. This may mean confiding in your doctor but that can only be to your benefit.

Elle

**Posted by Helpme25** November 5, 2021 2:04 am

thank you guys so much for the replies I am truly devastated right now because everything I have imagined is true. Especially with this guy he texted

I haven’t had sex with him since this child was conceived (5) months ago I already have been tested I am all clear thank Jesus.

**Posted by Helpme25** November 5, 2021 2:06 am

MJM017 wrote:
Dear Helpme,

Am very sorry this happened. Do you have family/friends you can confide in and help you? You may want to see a clergy member or a counselor for further help. Don't go through this alone, especially at this vulnerable time of being pregnant.

Take screenshots of the texts you found and hang onto them. It may be useful in many ways.

I agree with Soap - see a family law attorney to understand your legal and financial rights. Don't tell him. As well, I wouldn't confront him. It will do no good. He'll blame you for his own rotten behavior.

It's really vile to cheat on your pregnant wife. It's totally the worst thing ever. I am not a violent person (I'm a petite woman), but if you were my daughter I'd punch him in the nose. I don't know if this helps, but anyone you tell would have the same reaction as me.

Please write when you want to.

Take care,

Maria

Yes I have a screenshot of the text

No I don’t really have anyone I can confide in so I am alone in this

Thank you for your response ❤️

**Posted by walkbymyself** November 5, 2021 11:44 am

I'm so, so sorry you're in the middle of this. Some advice about screenshots: I used to take photos of his screens with my own phone. I don't think there's a way to screenshot the actual text on his phone & send it to yourself without leaving evidence.

If you have the fortitude (and that's a big "if") try to do as much snooping as you can, before you do anything to confront him. You don't want to teach him how to be a better liar, you want to find out the truth.

**Posted by Helpme25** November 5, 2021 1:45 pm

walkbymyself wrote:
I'm so, so sorry you're in the middle of this. Some advice about screenshots: I used to take photos of his screens with my own phone. I don't think there's a way to screenshot the actual text on his phone & send it to yourself without leaving evidence.

If you have the fortitude (and that's a big "if") try to do as much snooping as you can, before you do anything to confront him. You don't want to teach him how to be a better liar, you want to find out the truth.

Yes I took a picture of it with my phone

**Posted by Helpme25** November 5, 2021 2:29 pm

walkbymyself wrote:
I'm so, so sorry you're in the middle of this. Some advice about screenshots: I used to take photos of his screens with my own phone. I don't think there's a way to screenshot the actual text on his phone & send it to yourself without leaving evidence.

If you have the fortitude (and that's a big "if") try to do as much snooping as you can, before you do anything to confront him. You don't want to teach him how to be a better liar, you want to find out the truth.

I found another text of my husband telling him he is dying to put his soft cock in him

IM LITTERALLY LOSING MY SHIT RIGHT NOW IM SHAKING

**Posted by walkbymyself** November 5, 2021 2:56 pm

I know. When I was first uncovering all that stuff, I shook from head to toe. I felt like I was some kind of criminal, in my own house.

Now, with the benefit of time and distance, I know what I did was right. But at the time, I felt like a monster for snooping. Now I understand: it's the last thing I should feel ashamed about. It was the first time I looked after my own best interest, protected myself, and put my own needs first. But that took me a long, long time.

**Posted by walkbymyself** November 5, 2021 2:57 pm

Also, remember this: it's YOUR home. It's your house. You should not be afraid of opening a drawer or cabinet in your own house. Your house should be a sanctuary, not a prison.