OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Pride month?

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** June 11, 2021 1:56 pm

lily wrote:
what do you think came first, the homophobia or the closet? .....

The Closet

**Posted by Soaplife** June 12, 2021 12:27 am

Two of my young adult children happened to be at a Pride event and saw their gay dad - whom neither choose to have contact with at the moment - carruing on and holding up the letter P sign on the stage. As they commented wryly "showing off and wanting to be the centre of attention as usual". Bad character and shitty parenting are not cis monopolies.

**Posted by lily** June 12, 2021 8:57 pm

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
lily wrote:
what do you think came first, the homophobia or the closet? .....
The Closet

yes it has to be the closet doesn't it.

we all need to have our pride. I know there's all sorts and if I were a lesbian who had been raped by a straight man I would be making a case that his pride needed a pruning but I don't think gay pride should be bolstered by ignoring or putting down straight pride. any more than it is the other way round - we might have something to say about our exes but none of us are putting gay people down.

Having been here a while now I have seen a lot of people come here and one of the things that comes up a lot is the new poster wants to assure us they are not homophobic. Of course not, we tend to be people who are friendly with gay people. just didn't want to marry one, it hurt a lot.

Last edited by lily (June 12, 2021 8:59 pm)

**Posted by clintonia** June 19, 2021 6:41 pm

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
Would our pain trump their happiness? No it wouldn't because we're all standing in the shadows while they bask in the sunshine.

Just want to say thanks for this string. It's something I struggle with every year. It's been better this year thanks to having read this board a lot the past year and for feeling a little bracing against the inescapable movement, including at work. I'm all for honesty, diversity, vitality of people-- but think there is a dark side of shocking selfishness below the 100%+ positivity. Being realistic shouldn't make one viewed as homophobic without everyone probing what they so quickly reject about another's necessary boundaries.

**Posted by Rob** June 19, 2021 7:02 pm

Ellexoh,
I take it you don't like pride month? lol.

Seriously, I'm bombarded with it even at work where my company sends out email supporting pride.

2 thoughts it provokes in me;
They have no idea of the damage and hurt our un-prideful spouses caused.
Maybe it might encourage someone to be proud of who they are not hide and marry a straight person.

**Posted by SusanneH** June 20, 2021 2:26 pm

I don’t have any problem with gays, etc. Heck, I was ahead of my time..back in the 60’s, I was a hippie and we already advocated loving everyone regardless of color, sexual preference, …anything. We tried to accept everyone that wasn’t violent.

But, after everything that’s happened, it’s different. Every time I see a rainbow (and, that’s another thing. I LOVED rainbows…such bright colors…and now, not the same) and hear a gay guy on National Geographic say they’re celebrating National Pride month, I want to gag. I try not to make a face since my husband may be in the room….but, the thing is——it’s IN MY FACE ,.,,ALL THE TIME. And, I can’t wait until June is over!.

I’m still not homophobic (heck, I’m married to a bisexual, and do love him), just don’t want to be reminded of it all so much. My 2 cents.

thank you very much

**Posted by Heartbroken49** June 20, 2021 6:14 pm

SusanneH I feel the exact same. Everywhere is colours, rainbows and talk about Pride. I don’t have a problem with people who have been honest about themselves and not dragged an innocent person in to their deceitful life having pride but for me, at the moment, it is just a constant reminder of the lie I have been unknowingly a part of for decades. I cringe every time I see someone or something related to TGT and I am disappointed with myself, but at the moment I just can’t help it. I wonder what members of the LGBTQ+ community think of what we ( the straight spouse) have had to endure, is there sympathy for us? I only hope I get back to my previous mantra of “ live and let live”

**Posted by Heartbroken49** June 30, 2021 5:57 pm

Well last day of Pride month, and it hasn’t come soon enough. I hope the truthful members of the lgbtq community enjoyed it, but for me, it has been the most stressful month of my life 😢

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** June 30, 2021 8:03 pm

Heartbroken49 wrote:
Well last day of Pride month, and it hasn’t come soon enough. I hope the truthful members of the lgbtq community enjoyed it, but for me, it has been the most stressful month of my life 😢

Fucking Pride Month has been a thorn in my paw. When I log into Facebook the word at the top of the page just explodes into colours and rainbows and all things gay.....as if I need to be reminded. I didn't sign up for it, don't need it so 'in my face' AND I couldn't find any option button to turn the damn thing off either..!!

Irritable Elle

**Posted by Gloria** July 1, 2021 10:10 am

Kia, Pride month is over now. If it upsets you , don't use facebook during that month.