Posted by New Life  February 2, 2021 8:33 pm | #1 |
I was married to him for 32 years. We married at 24 and had a blessed life together. We were good friends, three kids, two homes, active social life with large group of couples. Said these feelings surfaced recently, but he never came to me with them. Just lied and acted upon them. Then he left me. This has been tragic on so many levels. Long story. Maybe I'll share another time. Still trying to overcome the terrible trauma and the grief. Still cry a lot. Finally overcame most of the rage but that took a year. We are moving toward divorce now. It is hard for me to say the word. I am profoundly lonely a lot of the time. COVID has not helped. I have a great therapist, but I need help from people who have experienced what I'm going through. Does anyone know of any virtual support groups? I would also appreciate your support. thank you
Last edited by New Life (February 2, 2021 8:37 pm)
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Posted by Leslie77 February 3, 2021 8:08 am | #2 |
New Life,
I am so sorry for you and I can relate to your experience. My spouse also said his feelings were new and he also did not tell me and just started acting on them. A friend of his from decades ago recently told me that she wasn't surprised so, again, another lie of his.
It's a horrible experience but you will get through it. It takes a lot of time. I am newly divorced and I am still angry and devastated but every day seems a bit better.
Longwayhome's recommendations are excellent. Therapy is helpful, too. Do you have any trusted friends or relatives to talk to?
I think some of the Straight Spouse Network support groups may be meeting virtually. Take a look at the website and you might find something. I would also suggest looking into Zoom classes/groups that have nothing to do with The Gay Thing. I found at one point I got overloaded with information. The exercise and crafts Zoom groups that I'm in are a pleasant diversion and the participants are wonderful friends. I just wish I could see them in person but that day will come at some point.
Please take care of yourself and keep posting here.
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Posted by SusanneH February 3, 2021 1:05 pm | #3 |
New Life,
glad you found us, and hope we can help.
You asked about virtual groups. I don’t know of any that meet regularly, except COSA, which is for co-dependents of sex addicts. My husband’s way of searching for men, going to meet them, looking for them at the local porn video store, watching porn, was all addictive (he’s also a recovering drug addict). Even though they aren’t necessarily for non-straights, I sat in on a few, and they’re helpful. I was told to sit after a group and tell my situation and ask, and I would get some answers for a sponsor, or at least someone to talk to in the same situation.
Best of luck in your new life 😊. I have read many stories that those who ‘got out’ from toxic relationships were more relaxed and happy after they were ‘free’. I hope you feel that way, too.
(((HUGS)))
Last edited by SusanneH (February 3, 2021 1:33 pm)
