Some of the posts on this forum make me very sad, but they also articulate how I feel and have felt for a long time, in maybe a different way than I would think of expressing it. I chalked it up to having a partially melancholy personality, and while that may be true, our outlooks are based on our knowledge and experiences and I don't think we'll ever fully forget these experiences. Imo, how can we?

I'm not that old (early 30s). I've felt like the idea of "true love" washed away for me quite awhile ago. I haven't related to posts of my peers on social media in years. I'm jaded, and it upsets me that my peers seem to have no concept about (or even *acceptance* of the concept of) that tarnishing of the foundational idea of "love". So in regards to "the innocence of those days", can we get over the bitterness? Maybe that's a good question.

I know that "true love" must exist because many people experience it. Would there even be poetry (let alone a lot of literature) if it didn't? My parents have been married for about 50 years. All but a few rough patches of it have been happy. Lifelong love exists. A decade or years of love also exist. And one's own feelings of love, regardless of the partner, are real (despite their gaslighting). I think it's more anguished and acute when experienced alone, but relationships of other types can have that pain. Beauty, inspiration and meaning exist in other areas than a personal life, but experiencing them becomes more poignant when you're alone. And even if you decide you don't want a relationship again, I think people can find balance if they stay alone. It's a personal question.

Anyway, best wishes.

I'm with you, Daryl. I don't believe in soulmates, but I do believe in true, ever-lasting love...Though, as cliche as this is, I think it requires two people who love themselves individually (and know they're worthy and deserving of great love). 

When I first saw this post yesterday afternoon, I passed it up, thinking it doesn’t have anything to do with me. Then, when I looked at the answers this morning, i realized I have been through this, but not in the same emotional way.

I got married at 18, right out of high school to a man that wasn’t even my type. I had usually dated hippie-types that were taller& thinner. He was short, stocky and almost redneck (not quite, but he didn’t like the hippie culture) and I didn’t want to even date him at first. He pursued me until I did. We had become best friends by then, and it just happened naturally. We practically ‘grew up’ together. Financially, we had a hard time, as he didn’t like working for..well, let’s just say he never had a steady job, nor the education to get a good one, but we loved each other, so we made it throught whatever came our way. We weren’t able to have children, although we wanted them very much. I had 3 miscarriages. At 30, I started to get very ill, and had to quit working at 38, and have been ill & housebound ever since. So, when he passed away in 2003 (it was expected- his heart), 2 weeks after I turned 50, I wasn’t even going to date again. I didn’t want to get ‘out there’ & had had 32 years of a good marriage, and was too sick anyway.

Well, a friend of mine invited me to her house & said John (my current husband) would be there. I knew him in high school, and had even gone out with him twice. I had always liked him. Turns out, he’d never gotten married. Well, it turned out my friend made sure he &. I ended up sitting alone in the kitchen eating,and we started talking & didn’t stop..... He called me later that week. I wasn’t ready to date! We became friends & then dated. Got married...... 

So, that’s my ‘moving on’ story. You never know when it’s going to happen.....when you least expect it or are NOT looking for it. (In my case, it didn’t turn out like the fairy tale it started out to be). 

Best of luck!

Last edited by SusanneH (January 11, 2021 1:08 pm)