OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Why am I not enough

**Posted by TangledOil** January 8, 2021 1:31 pm

Inundermyskin,

No, it was primarily directed at the one who stated he didn’t believe male bisexuality exists.

**Posted by rekamc** January 8, 2021 2:32 pm

TangledOil wrote:
Inundermyskin,

No, it was primarily directed at the one who stated he didn’t believe male bisexuality exists.

my apologies if I offended or hurt you in any way, shape or form, like I said earlier, it's my own personal belief and it doesn't mean anything.

**Posted by lily** January 8, 2021 3:22 pm

inkundermyskin wrote:
.. i can see why some women could be labeled as bi, giving that a lot of women are so much driven emotionally. to connect with another woman on a level that most men just cant get to. they feel the connection, emotionally and or physically, and it grows. i guess. i'm trying to find some sort of logic....

straight women seek friendships with other women. Don't you feel like that about men? it's nice to have a friend. I have zero attraction to women sexually.

I had no idea how many married women are gay until I got divorced and they started hitting on me. I kept on having these women, married and single, start making friends only to suddenly dump me and I was left thinking what, what have I done and then one woman talked more openly with me and gave me a book of lesbian poetry and I realised she thought I was gay and that I was about to be dumped again when I told her I really was straight and it explained a lot for me about my relationships with women in general.

It is chalk and cheese, straight or not straight.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 8, 2021 5:28 pm

My comments in red

TangledOil wrote:
Wow, wow, wow... I’m really disappointed. Disappointed because not everybody sees things the way you do? Many of you are exceptionally closed minded and a big part of the problem. Ouch! "a big part of the problem" ? That's a really cutting thing to say I’m really stunned that in this day age you present like you have the knowledge of sexuality that people had in the 1950s. This too You might consider educating yourself some.And this

Elle

**Posted by Julian_Stone** January 8, 2021 10:22 pm

For the purposes of this thread, I don't think whether or not bisexuality exists is the issue.
This woman is reeling from the news that her husband is not the straight person she thought she married. We can all relate to that. It is shocking & scary. I'm nearly two years out & I can still hardly believe I'm here...in this forum.

Furthermore, he basically told her to stand by while he "figures out what he wants"....At that point, does the sexual orientation even matter?

Last edited by Julian_Stone (January 8, 2021 10:26 pm)

**Posted by TangledOil** January 8, 2021 10:53 pm

Elle, I’m not sure what your point is. I meant what I said.

Julian, I agree wholeheartedly. The OP needs support for her current situation.

.... she doesn’t need to be told that her husband is actually gay, when she never said he was gay.

Tangled

**Posted by ThisTooShallPass** January 8, 2021 11:09 pm

I'm sorry you find yourself here. You may not be "enough" (right) for him, but that doesn't determine your self-worth. As someone else said, this is not your problem.

You came to the right place. You have every right to feel angry, hurt, or any other emotion that washes over you. We understand, and we are here to listen.

**Posted by lily** January 9, 2021 1:03 am

the OP made a short post and had one question - why am I not enough for him.

The answer to that question is because he wants a man.

getting that confirmation from a straight man is real support and lets her know that it's nothing she has done wrong, nothing she can fix.

Tangled I agree with Elle, that post you made came across as being just as cutting to me - it was most undeserved and you got an apology but you shouldn't have, you should have been apologising to him.

**Posted by clintonia** January 9, 2021 2:47 am

lily wrote:
getting that confirmation from a straight man is real support and lets her know that it's nothing she has done wrong, nothing she can fix.

How is receiving confirmation from someone of the same orientation helpful when the partner has made you the center of their life for years and then dropped you? We were sure of our orientation and feelings; I don't think we needed confirmation of those. If it reduces sexual confidence maybe it's helpful to receive confirmation, but I think that's an aside. I see it more as the crux of the pain that there was "nothing she [could have] done, nothing she can fix".

**Posted by SusanneH** January 9, 2021 11:59 am

Okay, another 2cents worth of my whatever.

With all this ‘in’ fighting, has anyone noticed that the OP hasn’t posted since the first page?

I think we ran her off with all this ‘bi’ is or isn’t real stuff. She originally said he is bi , so the conversation wasn't needed in the first place. We also should have been spending time helping her. If we/you/all of us (me included) whatever want to ‘debate’ whether bisexuality exists of doesn’t, start a thread with that as the subject instead of hijacking a thread meant to help someone.

So, if this offends anyone, then we’re too sensitive to ourselves and not others. I don’t think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Let’s help one another, please.

Last edited by SusanneH (January 9, 2021 12:00 pm)