My husband of 16 years starting wondering about 2 years ago if he was trans.  I tried to be supportive and make the marriage work, but to make a long story short, he decided he is trans. For multiple reasons, including him choosing not to work on our marriage or abide by my boundaries regarding how he appears in public, we are getting divorced.

So far he has not dressed up in front of the kids (ages 8, 11 and 13) and they don't know that he identifies as trans.  We will have joint custody of the kids, but they will spend more time with me.  He'll have them every other weekend for an extended weekend plus some mid week visits.

Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed with fear wondering what he will do and when he will do it regarding going public with being trans.  Not for myself, but for our kids.  Does anyone have any experience with this?  My lawyer said I can't get sole custody and I don't want to keep the kids away from their dad.  He's not a good spouse, but he's been a pretty good dad (so far) and they love him.   

Does anyone have experience with how kids react to a parent coming out as trans, dressing as a woman in front of the kids, etc?