My husband grew up a street guy, hes intimidating, think he can beat the world. Tough! Scary. Narcissistic , has been physical, but cont to be mentally, emotionally abusive. I am ready to leave and scared. This started about 2 yrs ago when something felt strange. He joined a “group” and its men only and he became close with someone. For the 1st time I saw my husband act out of character around this guy. I shrug it off but too many things were happening that had me like “what is going” it cant be. He does not realize he is off his game and showing a different side to him. To make a long story short, he continues to have me a mental wreck!!! If I even think of accusing him of cheating he wants to scare me into leaving subject alone. He has cheated before but never in a million years would I think this. He has changed his appearance, oh he gets fresh! Smelling good to go out with guys. Told me he was going to lunch with “.     “ , what? We always ate out together. I have been taking notes. I am so hurt and the point of risking my life. He refuses std testing. He says I must have something. He knows I get checked every year, but that makes it right for him not to? Now our marriage is at a all time low. I know he does not love me and is using me for his cover now. He is disgusting, everytime i see his face or hear his voice my stomach gets quesy. I want out!!!! But I want to live. Please someone close to my story give me some insight. What do I do. I cant let him know I know. But on other hand how dare he walk around here like the man of house and aint shit but an abuser. And lying cheat!