Wow. I can totally relate! I found out my spouse was gay after 23 years of marriage. No cheating, but many years of distance and emotional detachment. Fun stuff! Great for the old self esteem!
I too am fast tracking the divorce and using a mediator to limit the expense. I'm doing as much as I can for myself - trying to build a new life. I've connected with some old friends that are divorced, making plans without him, reading all I can to arm myself with information and planning for the future - without him.
I start a separated and divorced group next week and couldn't be more excited!
We all need to take control of our lives and gain back our self esteem and passion for life.
Thanks for sharing your journey. I find it motivating!