Damaged beyond repair

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Posted by Roo
October 13, 2019 4:58 pm 		#1

After living this life with him for 3 years since disclosure, not getting the affection or having any passion left in my life that I deserve, does this me me damaged beyond repair? I'll be 60 on my next birthday and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. 

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
 
 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
October 13, 2019 6:14 pm 		#2

I'm 61....it's been 2 1/2 years and it's me that feels no passion ...I stopped trying to ask how my partner was feeling a while ago. I decided if *I* didn't feel it I shouldn't expect it from him so, even though sometimes I want him to touch me, hold me....I talk myself out of it because I want more from him ie; acknowledgment/understanding...(blah blah, sometimes even *I* get sick of the endless 'no light at the end of the tunnel' )

As far as being damaged....I refuse to see myself as damaged, and I don't think you should see your new reality as "damaged" either. Damaged is changing the dynamics of a r'ship/marriage...and not telling your significant other. 
That....is damaged

'hugs' Roo

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (October 13, 2019 6:15 pm)

KIA KAHA                       
 
Posted by Lynne
October 13, 2019 7:59 pm 		#3

Delete post.

Last edited by Lynne (April 25, 2020 11:14 am)

 
Posted by StraightSpouse1979
October 14, 2019 11:13 am 		#4

I know how you feel, I surely feel jaded. I was 19 when we started dating. First real relationship, together 20 years, married 10 and have an almost six year old daughter and NOW he chooses to be HIM. Told me not even three years ago when I wanted to persue my dream of being an extra in some of the television shows that I love that he didnt marry an actress, or when I wanted to maybe one day be governor of NJ, he didnt marry a politician. Well, i SURELY didnt marry a WOMAN. But, now he said that was wrong of him to say that and I surely can do whatever i want to do with his full support. Well thank you MA'AM for your approval otherwise you are a huge hypocrite. 
I saw so many red flags, some relating to this, but never thought the end game would be this. I asked him out, I had to make a business deal almost to have a marriage because I refused to get a home with him unless we got married, he tricked me into getting pregnant and NOW he chooses this. Yet, he has a hard time understanding why i think this was a calculated plan to trap me. SMH 
I battle with leaving or staying. Turning 40 next month makes me just straight angry at him. If i could go back twenty years ago I would have just been homeless (my pap who raised me left our family home after my gram died and moved in with his girlfriend so i was left either living with my husband now or homeless) 
I feel like every decision in life was made FOR me or that i did for survival not desire or want or for happiness. 
Anyways, i too have this I must be damaged feeling 

 


 
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