I have been with my wife for 17 years (married for 12) and she recently expressed to be that she is bisexual. I sort of knew this from the beginning but she was never open about it, especially to me. She told me of a 3 month relationship that she had with a woman but that was it. We have always had a “not so great” sex life and I think our lack of intimacy has a lot to do with her not feeling comfortable expressing her bisexuality to me. Anyway, that has changed now and we both want to be more open and I FULLY support her bisexuality. We have had a renewal in our marriage where we feel so much more open now.
But I am still struggling and still processing this new identity, obviously. We want to stay together and love being with each other. Like when we both think of the future together, we see us together doing everything. But I am afraid I will not be enough for her sexually, and I think she wants to express her queerness. Which again I fully support and want her to. I just have these doubts of how it will work, if she’ll want to be with a woman, or have an open relationship. I’m just in this rollercoaster of emotional doubt and confusion. I think it’s compounded by the fact that our sex life has always been not so fluid and great. It’s actually better now, but I still worry.
How do we incorporate her “bisexuality” into our sex life together without having an open relationship? We’ve talked about watching sensual lesbian television shows together like the L Word and I have also expressed to her that I would be willing to fantasize with her about other women, or to incorporate more bisexual fantasy into our love making.
But...I just feel lost and my head is a mess. Any advice or help on how to make this work would be so so appreciated! Thank you!!