Not sure if I have said this here before:

For the straight spouse, “infidelity” also can include what others would call fidelity.  That is, If you have a gay-in-denial spouse, and they insist they want to stay married to you—and they deny the truth—this is them not really choosing YOU, but choosing their closet.  They are having an affair with their closet.  They might be married to you, but they are continuing to use you.  Infidelity is when the loyalty is not really to you, not caring about you.  If a gay spouse denies us reality, or does not show they value us as people who deserve to know the truth about our own lives, this is not respect. It is not love. It is lying. They might technically be married and not even having an affair—but they are not intimate with us in the true sense of the word.  They are not valuing us.