Posted by OJECPOMCO  July 9, 2019 3:33 am | #11 |
Outofhiscloset, I really buy the idea of leaving for the children. My 4yr old daughter used to be fun loving. In the last 6 months while i turned to angry, crying mother. This little soul turned into something else too. She became more unforgiving. Almost averse to love. I wish i can reverse the last 6 months and not put her in this situation.
Onmyownfeet, It is the desire for reciprocity and drives me sometimes. Maybe I am deserve love. Just maybe someone wont mind my kids and shower me love that will be reciprocal. Just maybe. Or i could live alone, satisfied that i am not being rejected anymore. I tried finding our love languages, so that we would understand each other better. Besides it is draining like you mentioned. I have a severely autistic son, whom I'd like to focus my energy on.
It is going to be a very long road. If i move August like i have planned with my aunt, I need like a year before i file for annulment in my church. With which i can begin dissolution according to customs.
Do you all think of years wasted? Early this year i thought a lot about my exes, whom might have been a better a choice if they worked.
Does anyone feel empty? Tired? I used to be angry with God. Say 2015 - 2017, wondering why he let this happen to me. I past that now. I still feel down.
Amazingly, I dont cry anyone. My tears are stuck somewhere or all gone. I continue to solider on.
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Posted by OJECPOMCO July 9, 2019 3:38 am | #12 |
MJM017 wrote:
OJECPOMCO, I wasn't sure how conservative your area was. It sounds like you have some great plans!
My parents, neither gay, fought a lot, sometimes bitterly and do to this day. That scared me a lot as a kid that people could be so verbally vicious to each other. I remember asking my mother if she would divorce my father because I wanted peace and happiness for them both. I wanted it for me.
The parents of my late GIDXH divorced when he was a young boy.They did not appear gay, but who knows! The reason for their divorce was due to his constant cheating w/women.
This was in the late 60s and in a conservative area of the US. Mom received full-time custody. There were hardly any children with divorced parents in his school. He and his older sibling were bullied a bit in school due to this.The father could not come to midweek school activities. He did miss his father a lot. He saw him every other weekend.
It's better for the kids to see parents at peace, whether separated or living together, but it may depend on how many of your children's classmates & neighbors have divorced/separated parents. There is a lot to consider. If I were to say anything else, take your time making this decision so you are satisfied with the outcome and your children are as well.
I think the closely knit nature of African setting makes the stigma harder. But that is not the end of the world.
I can sure tell you the chances of having divorced parents in their school is almost zero. But then we have not been at peace in a long while. We do not spend time together. Things that makes one a family. Earlier we fought a lot and kept malice longer that my daughter had to complain to my mother and sister.
So i simmered down on arguments. And we just co-exist. No time spent together. Few laughter. I guess that at point I was exhausted.
Last edited by OJECPOMCO (July 9, 2019 3:40 am)
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