One thing you should be figuring out is whether he is actually bi, and willing to commit to you for the time you are together, or whether his is actually gay, and using "bi" as a cover, and you as a beard.   

Lily,
 No.  I wouldn't date a man who called himself bisexual. Nor would I date a man who told me he cross dressed.  Once bitten, twice shy, or, the better part of wisdom, etc.  I've read enough here to be wary, and  I don't need any more complications in my life, and that includes the possibility of STIs.  
  I tried to convey to NEI6 that I thought she should be cautious, because his interest might not be what or all it seems.  More than one woman here has said her closeted ex has gone on to woo other women.  

Hi Nel6, this is an interesting question to me because I'd talked about it with a best friend this summer who had known both me and my STBX going back to when we were dating. The gist of her question was: would I have continued to date him then if he told me he was attracted to men as well as women. (N.B.: it isn't clear if my STBX is bi or gay and looking for a beard.) My immediate answer was: probably not, because I don't find bisexuality a turn on. It's kind of a turn off to me. I mean, never say never, but in the theoretical sense, no--not because I'd be afraid of cheating but because I just don't find that sexy.

So my question for you would be: how do you feel about it in terms of attraction? Does it change who you are or would want to be in the bedroom, and not in a good/positive way?

Last edited by Estella Oculus (December 29, 2018 9:00 am)