OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Still confused why my ex wanted sex all the time, is this normal?

**Posted by Kaylamarie** May 24, 2018 2:23 pm

In the 6 years me and my ex boyfriend were together we had a very active sex life and he always orgasmed. He also seemed very into my body. He used to complain that we didn't have sex enough. Meanwhile I found grinder on his phone last week (I did post about this before so I apologize if I'm being repetitive). This is just what's bothering me so much. I left the relationship and he denies the grinder this but like how can u want sex with a woman and have curiosity or possibly hookups with men? It's so troubling for me.

**Posted by phoenix** May 24, 2018 2:59 pm

It's hard to know this Kayla. Some people are genuinely bi-sexual and enjoy sex with both. Some gay men, especially younger ones are just so sexually driven that they can enjoy it with a woman even if they aren't as attracted to them. They just enjoy the act of sex and the intimacy of it.

You seem to be lost in the weeds here. You are fixated on knowing if he is or is not gay. I think you feel like you need proof of his homosexuality to justify your decision to leave. BUT.. you don't. Forget the whole gay or bi part. He had an app on his phone designed for finding sexual partners. He was or intended to cheat on you. That is more than enough to end a relationship. That's all the proof you need.

**Posted by Kaylamarie** May 24, 2018 3:36 pm

Hey Phoenix, my ex is 29 so I guess he is at his sexual peak. It's troubling for me because that was always what convinces me that he was straight. He was always secretive with his phone and sort of flamboyant but I accepted him for who he was. I know I can never go back, it's just all the questions I have. Plus he is not making this breakup easy for me. He does not want to end it and denies everything.

**Posted by lily** May 24, 2018 3:47 pm

There is a saying - bi now gay later.

From my perspective I reckon that means - buy now, pay later.

Believe now that a bisexual that can be like a heterosexual and pay with an empty marriage later.

Of course they can have sex with the opposite sex - but their romantic urge is gay.

I found it so hard to accept because it is painful to recognise how he kept his heart locked away, knowing all along it will never belong to me. It is a crime of the heart. Even if it wasn't exactly deliberate.

Even if it was accidental. Unless he's saying sorry for misleading you I don't think you owe him the time of day.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** May 27, 2018 3:15 pm

I finally realised that it was the porn my partner was watching that enhanced his 'passion' when we were together. In the last year....the deep sensuality we enjoyed slowly dwindled...no porn, no sex toys (he threw them out), no more manscaping, no more intimate conversations.
I can see what happened....but he can't, or won't

**Posted by Tyurk** June 3, 2018 12:03 pm

Wondering89 wrote:
Hi I think this is a think that confuses a lot of us..
I wonder a lot about this but he told me once he thinks about guys and tranny’s while I’m playing with his dick and I think he does that when we have sex to. He closes his eyes a majority of the time.

Wondering89,
Thats so F***ed up for you to hear. Im sorry. That is not how it should be.

My husband has done the same things as yours except the cl ads. My husband also wanted sex a lot and always came onto me. He admitted to being bi, but hasnt been with a man he says. Its very confusing and hurtful because we are straight. But it comes down to if you want to he with a man who thinks about men while you are having sex with him. Hell no is my answer. That is completely wrong. You should be cherished and lusted after. Take care.