OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / The Power Of No

**Posted by Daryl** September 5, 2021 12:10 pm

Came across this article. It's intention is to talk about general boundaries around home and work, but I think there is some applicability to the experiences of some of us.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/sep/02/the-power-of-no-how-to-build-strong-healthy-boundaries?utm_source=pocket-newtab

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** September 5, 2021 10:55 pm

Daryl wrote:
.... https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/sep/02/the-power-of-no-how-to-build-strong-healthy-boundaries?utm_source=pocket-newtab

This is good reading for those at the start of their journey.

"No. A tiny yet mighty word"

...I realized too late the importance of that word, and how powerful it could be for my own sense of self and worth. The boundaries I've set now would have been more relevant 8 - 10 years ago. Maybe if I'd been more self aware... Less blind to where this was heading...less in love with love...
So you younger straightspouses out there,.. find and know yourselves before you give your trust away

Somebody on the Forum commented that she had no joy in her life anymore. That's how I feel. Like I'm in a holding pattern of no joy

Elle

**Posted by Gloria** September 6, 2021 9:17 am

I am very happy now. I left the homosexual and married someone else. I went through a year of unhappiness. I know that some people stay in unhappy marriages but my advice would be, if you can, leave the homosexual or lesbian and let them practice their unnatural way of life.

**Posted by Soaplife** September 6, 2021 9:37 am

Daryl wrote:
Came across this article. It's intention is to talk about general boundaries around home and work, but I think there is some applicability to the experiences of some of us.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/sep/02/the-power-of-no-how-to-build-strong-healthy-boundaries?utm_source=pocket-newtab

"No is a complete sentence" is one of my favourite self-reminders. Thanks for the link, Daryl.

**Posted by Ordinary guy** September 6, 2021 10:43 am

Deleted

Last edited by Ordinary guy (September 7, 2021 3:32 am)

**Posted by lily** September 6, 2021 2:25 pm

yes, plenty of people have no problem with saying no. They don't want to please you, and learning to say no fast enough can limit the damage, but once you are into a relationship then it changes doesn't it. you are inside it.

I just think that if I am in the hands of a manipulator it's time to get away if I can. And if I can't accomplish that straightaway, then it's time to be brave and not give up and curling up into a ball is better protection than nothing - any game I play be it saying yes or saying no is not going to work out well for me.

**Posted by Rob** September 7, 2021 2:22 pm

I will say as I finally stood up for myself just that single word "no" was enough to make my GX go completely postal. She was so used to me doing whatever she said for decades. She just couldn't fathom I had any free will and would say no to anything..ie. no will I will not pay for your hotel rooms anymore.

It seemed too little too late but it was a really wasn't..it was a powerful word..more powerful and kind than all the unnecessary cursing and screaming she thought would make me do everything she said as usual.

**Posted by Rob** September 8, 2021 5:22 am

Understand completely MJM. I had to say no and pray to God and know deep deep in my bones that those things were truer and more real reality than the lies she started throwing at me to justify her behavior.

I just want to remind everyone that just because someone is screaming and yelling at you with absolute conviction does make their words true..it does not make their actions moral. It took me sometime to realize that with someone I loved.