I've been with my husband for 17 years, married for 12.  I knew from the beginning he was transgendered.  We didn't live together until a year after we were married.  He treated very good and was very supportive of anything I needed.  Things changed when he admitted to role playing while having sex with me.  Then he had plastic surgery to repair skin cancer on his nose.  I asked on several occasions even in the presence of our counselor at the time if he had any other work done.  I didn't recognize this man I married after his surgery.  He denied, denied, denied.  He finally admitted years later.  He has 3 adult children and they think I'm using him and that's why he is miserable.  I told him recently he has to let them know why he is miserable.  He finally came out to them only after they told him I couldn't attend his mother's funeral.  He chose their feelings over mine.  He sees his own counselor and wants more work done.  I don't agree.  We haven't had intimacy for over 5 years, we sleep in separate bedrooms.  I recently went to a counselor that specializes in these types of relationships and she basically told me I either had to let him live his life as a female because he is one or leave him.  I haven't seen her since.  I have no one to talk to.  My first husband I was with for 21 years.  He cheated on me all the time and never was happy with me.  Now I have a husband that wants to be a female.