OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Gaslighting Explained - This is what I wanted to post

**Posted by MJM017** August 6, 2019 10:26 am

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Last edited by MJM017 (September 24, 2024 6:14 pm)

**Posted by Elliecat** August 7, 2019 3:42 pm

Hi MJM017,

That was a really interesting read, thank you.
The link contains the most relatable definition of gaslighting that I've come across so far:

"Gaslighting is distinct because only one of you is listening and considering the other’s perspective and someone is negating your perception, insisting that you are wrong or telling you your emotional reaction is crazy/ dysfunctional in some way."

I keep a journal and also write notes into my phone at the time so I'm confident of what I really said and heard. This way I've regained confidence in my sanity.

I hope you feel better soon.

**Posted by Rob** August 8, 2019 6:27 am

I think the gaslighting was the most insidious and malevolent thing I had to endure...like out of a horror movie or the movie gaslight itself. I think it was worst than getting screamed and sworn at. Why..
A. She could do it in front of the kids ..ie i told you about this appointment dont you remember. I would feel forgetful and crazy in front of them....ie dad is getting real forgetful lately huh kids..
B. I would have to argue my reality in front of the kids making me look mean or stupid.
C. It feels evil and truly shows you where they are coming from..how they will stoop to nothing. It makes you fear them.

If your spouse is doing this ..run..flee..it takes a really mean person to do this..

**Posted by StraightSpouse1979** August 8, 2019 6:56 am

It is nice to be validated by knowing that what happened has a word and definitions. I wish I kept a journal all of these years (20) so i can say see on this day you said or did this because I to him never recalled things correctly. Even most recently about a month ago he told his Aunt the same thing he told me but TOLD me that he NEVER said that. So, at least in that scenario I could say well then you told your aunt the wrong thing too.
Maybe someone in this forum knows. How can I download texts to an external thumb drive? I keep all his texts now but I dont want to have to have direct access to them to see them. That is not healthy but i need to have them available for my protection if he ever says I didnt say that again

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 8, 2019 2:38 pm

Rob wrote:
I think the gaslighting was the most insidious and malevolent thing I had to endure......

I'm 3 years into this, can see my journey through it quite clearly and can now, with hindsight pinpoint the time when
the most harm was done. It was from October 2016 to the 19th of February 2017 when the dishonest, cold, dismissive, angry and confusing (to me) gas-lighting behavior happened. It was like living with somebody I didn't like, which made it all the more confusing

**Posted by morpheus** August 8, 2019 4:12 pm

StraightSpouse1979 wrote:
Maybe someone in this forum knows. How can I download texts to an external thumb drive? I keep all his texts now but I dont want to have to have direct access to them to see them. That is not healthy but i need to have them available for my protection if he ever says I didnt say that again

If you like to copy files from PC (Windows) to an external drive, you can watch this youtube video (click here, for the link). Just tell, if you need more help with that.
p.s. if there's a need to import your texts from facebook messenger - here's a link to tutorial, how to do it. Later you may transfer downloaded file to your external drive.

Last edited by morpheus (August 8, 2019 4:23 pm)