OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / This story makes me want to hurl

**Posted by Scrupulous** November 15, 2018 6:29 pm

Forgive me if I offend any MOMs out there but I can't help but feel the need to puke after reading this.
They are both painted as heroes for thier 'love', 'patience', and 'bravery' while working on figuring out his sexuality.
I see it as desperate, in denial and dumb on her part for aiding the 'poor guy' as he 'explored this side of himself'.
Mostly it's a typical method to get people to accept the unacceptable act of living a life built on lies and expecting support and applause the whole time.

https://www.todaysparent.com/family/family-life/how-helping-my-husband-discover-hes-gay-helped-me-let-go/

Personally I'd like to bitch slap both of them.

**Posted by Scrupulous** November 15, 2018 6:32 pm

And this is not hate speech. It's roll my eyes speech.

**Posted by jkc1214** November 15, 2018 6:47 pm

He sounds like an incredibly selfish jerk. He takes the car every Wednesday when he knows she has to pick two kids up that evening. Really?

But, I can understand her need to have him figure himself out. I'm sort of dealing with that right now. My husband just keeps insisting I am his world and that he's not really gay. I feel like I need him to figure it out so I can say, "see, I'm not abandoning you, I'm giving you what you need" Why I need that I don't know but I do. He made an appointment with a marriage counselor for next week. He thinks it will save our marriage. I think it will prove what I know to be true, our marriage is over.

The difference between myself and the author is that when I say he can go screw whoever he wants, it's because for me, our marriage is over and I really don't care anymore about fidelity. That kind of love is long gone. Now it's just all logistics of how to end it and not destroy our children in the process. I won't be having happy, family moments with him and I certainly won't be having sex with him.

I feel very sad for her...she did all she could to save her family and made horrific sacrifices and it still didn't work.

**Posted by Scrupulous** November 15, 2018 7:18 pm

I'm so sorry you're in this position jk. And I can see and appreciate you're style more than her approach.
Your giving it a quick go before you let go....But she sacrificed herself and her children so he could go have his cake (dick) while giving the appearance of 'family'.
He played on her 'kindness' to his advantage and she's the sucker in the end regardless of the dancing and blowing his coming out horn with all the grafitti.
In the end it's all wasted time and BS. At least you see through it.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 15, 2018 7:34 pm

You're sorry if you offend any MOMs?

I can't wait to read (when I get home) what you think would offend a member here who is not at the same point in their journey as you. The fact you mention hate speech tells me it might be pretty close to condemning anyone still in their MOM. I hope it's not going to stop any of them asking for the forums help.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 15, 2018 9:58 pm

Okay then....read it.

All I can say is.....we all walk the journey at our own pace, nobody else'. Sometimes I guess the straightspouse has to walk even further into the flames than others.....who realised straight away it wasn't going to work....because we all have 'the thing' inside us that tells us no more and that instant won't be the same for everyone.

While some may want to hurl (really?)....I see it as the act of an individual, and respect her right to
do it her way

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 16, 2018 11:17 am

I've just read this for a third time and now I'm even more convinced it sounds like a story written for the sake of writing a story to prove that getting through this can happen if you can just put your doubt behind you and believe anything...lol
I don't know if this person is real but happy pictures with your children's faces shown is a bit off...and then halfway through there's a video available on how to tell children about divorce.
I think this whole thing is an advertisement. It's just too clean, too "we go through hell but come out the other side stronger, happier and sweeter." We all know it doesn't happen like that right?

I think it's written to pull at heart strings....I see it as a polarizing piece to champion 'authenticity' and to stir up debate.

Almost a women's magazine article. Definitely not worth hurling over

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (November 16, 2018 6:10 pm)

**Posted by Scrupulous** November 16, 2018 1:19 pm

True, I held back but it was an instant feeling after I read it. One thing I can say about it is that when they come out it does help each one to to heal. The not knowing the full extent of the matter and holding on to some dark secret almost bounds you to a prison like state in our own minds.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 16, 2018 1:49 pm

Scrupulous wrote:
True, I held back but it was an instant feeling after I read it. ....

Which is exactly what it's aimed at maybe.....for some to have an instant reaction and NOT hold back? It's all about stirring discussion but this type of discussion could quickly turn negative.
I'm a 'give people the benefit of the doubt' kinda person....know some people will do anything to advertise something they believe in.....but in the end this is easy, for me, to dismiss something that doesn't sound quite genuine

**Posted by Willowtree99** November 16, 2018 7:12 pm

Ellexor you were totally different the other week when I posted.

You know I think we all have different reactions and I get that sick feeling to at times reading story’s even though I am in a similar position it still hurts and I still get that sick empty feeling.

Love is crazy and it comes in different forms. It’s not as simple as it seemed when your a child. I love the kids dad but I find it hard to explain exactly how. I love him as a family member. I care deeply for him. I wish things were different but I also now can’t see him in the same light I use to. When you have children you do need to think about them to. So maybe that lady will focus on them and when they move or maybe she will start her own life to. I have always put my children first and disrupting their lives could mean different things at different times for couples. Like if your high school child is sitting exams or you have a child with mental health issues or a disability things could be more difficult to leave or do things.