I haven't posted since June, just wanted to update that my GIDH is finally starting counselling.  He has gone to two sessions, myself- one, both separately.  He is sharing "the good life" picture with the counsellor- no mention of his drinking, first marriage (10 yrs) sex problems; etc.  He says he is really happy in his life, and that he loves me sooo much- and wonders why I am not.  He says not being able to perform (low testosterone levels) is a medical issue- and why would I consider leaving him.  He forgets the 20+ years when his testosterone levels were functional levels and he still wasn't... I need to read the forum to remain my sanity sometimes...  thanks all for your posts!