OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Standing by/with my partner

**Posted by Kel** September 1, 2017 10:37 am

Wholeheartedly agree, Phoenix. Thanks for putting us back on the right road.

Kel

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** September 1, 2017 1:49 pm

We don't have a moderator like other groups, but we are not a free for all. This is a sponsored forum. Phoenix is an administrator and he acted within his purview as an administrator.

**Posted by phoenix** September 1, 2017 2:07 pm

Ellexoh wrote:
This all started with Cajun misinterpreting the words I wrote. *that is where the discord originated . And now you're removing posts because you think the posters opinions don't fit with the site?

Tangents were "gone off on". While I think it was a healthy debate, and nobody ever knows the state-of-mind of the members....I think removing posts, one person choosing how they think the site should run....is wrong

In my opinion the angst of the last few days is not what drove members away, it was the fragile state those people were in...and NOBODY can possibly know what triggered them to do so.
I won't stand for that. That sounds very autonomous

This group, while designed to show compassion, and welcome newcomers...seems to not be so welcoming of those who rock the boat

Move forward til the next time somebody puts a foot
out of line and has their posts deleted?

I am here to help people survive the experience of having a gay spouse. I volunteered to serve the community by helping with administrative functions. One of these services is to moderate or "keep the peace" so that this is a healthy, supportive and welcoming environment. Having an argument with passive aggressive insults and doing so over a topic of no substance to this forum is absolutely not welcoming or supportive.

Anyone is welcome to express an opinion that differs from the majority, but over the past few days the "rocking of the boat" in this thread has been argumentative and passive aggressive. Nearly everyone here is in a fragile state and we should all go out of our way to be even more kind and respectful than we might think necessary.

My suggestion to move forward implied that no blame would be cast and we should forget about it and move on without continuing this discussion. Can we do this now?

**Posted by Daryl** September 1, 2017 2:56 pm

fyi - I deleted my post, the one that I think Ellexoh was trying to reply to. On second thought I decided it really wasn't that important a post. TGIF (or Saturday in some cases).

**Posted by lily** September 1, 2017 6:46 pm

Hi Phoenix,

sorry to do this to you - I think you do a great job and we are lucky to have you - but I have to say that when you delete the posts and say no blame you tar me with the same brush and I do not deserve that.

As you say we are all fragile and this forum is for helping us.

I don't know that you can say Ellexoh is passive aggressive, what's so passive about it - here she goes again saying CajunBelle misunderstood her. No she didn't.

If Ellexoh wants to step up to the plate and interact responsibly with the posters then I would be the first to welcome her. well we'd all be there wouldn't we! and if she doesn't want to, no problem - she's entitled.

**Posted by phoenix** September 1, 2017 9:50 pm

You don't deserve it lily. I wasn't blaming you. In fact I was taking great care not to blame anyone. I deleted all the posts regarding the NZ to AUS distance to remove the conversation entirely. I was trying to wash it clean and move forward rather than using a brush to tar anyone.

**Posted by OCJamie** September 22, 2017 12:29 am

Yes!! I'm new here and only had a few people reach out to me, was hoping to get more responses. Thank you Judy.