OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / My thought for the day

**Posted by iamthelorax** June 7, 2017 11:20 pm

Hey Everyone,

I was just listening to an interesting lecture on dealing with narcissists once you uncover who/what they are. It isn't a long lecture and the message is quite simple. Make an exit plan and leave. That's it. No fighting, no fussing, just suitcases and footprints.

I realize this is tougher than it sounds; I myself fought and put up with her self centred nonsense for 2 years, all in the name of "fighting to save my marriage". It's an important message though, because narcissists (regardless of sexual orientation) will do their best to keep you in a corner at their disposal.

Best quote about engaging them was "I learned long ago never to wrestle with pigs. You get dirty, and besides, the pigs like it".

Hope this helps

**Posted by maresyd** June 8, 2017 5:02 am

Fantastic!

**Posted by Kel** June 8, 2017 3:23 pm

"Just suitcases and footprints". Hah! I love that. And it's so, so true.

Watching my sister try to extract an extreme narcissist from her life is very telling. She sent me something last night that said, "I wish feelings left when the person did." So true. He's been gone since the second week of October, with absolutely zero contact with her, and yet she still keeps finding out more stuff that hurts her. This man could be dead and still hurting her. The depths of their narcissism and lies is.... mind-boggling.

Kel

**Posted by Foolme** June 8, 2017 4:13 pm

I've been referring to my STBX as the gift that keeps on giving and giving. You think you're done but no wait there's more, you're still to blame for everything that's not going right in his life (in his opinion of course). Divorce is only around the corner for me, looking forward to having that finality at this stage!

**Posted by Rob** June 10, 2017 11:17 pm

Yeah they say a narcissist even when they die have one last way to hurt us..their will.

**Posted by iamthelorax** June 11, 2017 11:55 am

LOL this is true. And they NEVER change. After some time of no contact with my ex, we met up to transfer my daughter's stuff as she went to her place for the week. We discussed a few order-of-business parenting things, all was well and just as I'm thinking "hey, she doesn't sound like the selfish psycho she used to be" she pops these words out of her mouth. "I'm really unhappy about our daughter's graduation. It's on the same night as my Zumba class and now I have to miss Zumba". This not only took me by surprise, it also made me flashback to few years ago. She had actually skipped our son's graduation to go to Zumba class. Zero changes.

I'm almost embarrassed I was surprised by it.

**Posted by Rob** June 30, 2017 6:43 am

Lorax,

After attending my kids graduation and doing well with my ex who acted civil (but still some hints of phycho) I cannot believe a parent would even think of missing their kids graduation.

That really sums up your ex.

I have to remind myself sometimes when I miss my ex that her actions sum up so much more than any idea of her I have in my head.