OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Recent breakup, need advice

**Posted by blueclouds** March 25, 2025 5:16 am

Hi,
My partner and I recently broke up. He came out as gay and says that he has been having these attractions to men since a very young age but never came out as he came from a relatively conservative family and eventually this led to him being in denial. We had been together for several years when he came out.

I'm having a difficult time moving on because I had a lot of love for him and still do, and he said that at the beginning of our relationship he did love me romantically but in bed it just never worked for him out for him and he wasn't attracted to me like he is with men. But later in our relationship he became more aware of his gay orientation and eventually the love for me turned into a type where it was like a love for a best friend. He says he is fully gay and he is not attracted to women, and I think I'm having a difficult time understanding how the love for me could exist and maybe I'm clinging onto the love he had for me at the beginning.

The break up was a sad one for both of us. He said that our love was special and in another life, he'd hope we'd be a couple.

Does anyone have any advice?

**Posted by Alex1984** March 25, 2025 5:22 am

Breathe. Take one step at a time. This too shall pass. We grow through pain as long as we keep moving forward and don't get stuck in it. In saying so, go easy on yourself. Give yourself time. Move as slowly as you need. You will be grieving and that is ok. It is not a regular divorce, particularly where there really was love.

Sending you my love 💓

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** March 25, 2025 3:00 pm

You'll look back on this r'ship one day Blueclouds and you'll be grateful that you weren't trapped in it for as long as some of us were/are.

Your ability to love is a strength. Giving it to a man who doesn't reciprocate is a life lesson and can only make you stronger.

You will be okay ❤️

Elle

**Posted by freedmyself** March 27, 2025 1:22 am

It gets better, really. I'm hoping you consider how lucky you are that he's capable of being honest with you, and I'm hoping that you truly take him at his word that he is fully gay.

Take good care of yourself - try to move your body, eat good food, and spend time with people who love you.

**Posted by loc123** March 28, 2025 4:00 am

blueclouds wrote:
Hi,
My partner and I recently broke up. He came out as gay and says that he has been having these attractions to men since a very young age but never came out as he came from a relatively conservative family and eventually this led to him being in denial. We had been together for several years when he came out.

I'm having a difficult time moving on because I had a lot of love for him and still do, and he said that at the beginning of our relationship he did love me romantically but in bed it just never worked for him out for him and he wasn't attracted to me like he is with men. But later in our relationship he became more aware of his gay orientation and eventually the love for me turned into a type where it was like a love for a best friend. He says he is fully gay and he is not attracted to women, and I think I'm having a difficult time understanding how the love for me could exist and maybe I'm clinging onto the love he had for me at the beginning.

The break up was a sad one for both of us. He said that our love was special and in another life, he'd hope we'd be a couple.

Does anyone have any advice?

I’m really feeling for you and am currently living the same nightmare. You are not alone. It’s truly a living hell but you’re not the only one. All your feelings are true and valid. You are not going crazy. You’ve been wronged and rightly feel the way you do. Hang in there.