Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Neither of you is a straightspouse. 

This is a Forum for straightspouses who have had their lives impacted, ruined, sometimes destroyed by people who are not straight

I think you are jumping to a conclusion. I did not read anything that suggested that the original poster had/ever had any interest or relationship with someone in a non-straight orientation. From what I can see, the definition of demi doesn't insist on any sort of same-sex relationship. It's more like a inability to be promiscuous. A person who does not enter into any relationship in a casual sort of manner.

Last edited by Daryl (February 8, 2023 8:57 pm)

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Neither of you is a straightspouse. 

This is a Forum for straightspouses who have had their lives impacted, ruined, sometimes destroyed by people who are not straight

I disagree with that statement. I am demisexual but I am a straight demisexual. You can be straight, bi, or gay and demisexual too. 

Last edited by linderjl12 (February 11, 2023 8:50 am)

Anon2222 wrote:

Like....I never had crushes growing up. I was never attracted to celebrities, or whatever out there. I have to connect with a person before I would consider sleeping with them. I cannot do a one night stand, or FWB, or anything else of the sort. I want long term, monogamous relationships. And I won't sleep with anyone before a long term commitment is made.

So....then I was trying to figure this out, like, am I suddenly demi-sexual? And what the hell does that mean, and why is there a term for it? Like....can't you just say to someone you're not interested in sex until you build a connection? Like, I put in my dating thing that I don't do one night stands and I'm not jumping into bed with anyone. Do I now have to "identify" myself???

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You wouldn't suddenly be demi-sexual. You would just have a term to describe how you have always been. 

I would say that I am demi-sexual. I remember once that a group of co-workers were talking about this popular celebrity at the time and they were all saying how they wouldn't kick him out of their bed. I was quiet during all of this, so they asked if I thought he was attractive. I said he was but I couldn't say that I'd sleep with him. After all, I knew nothing about him. They all laughed and said what did I need to know about him other than he was hot. when I said yes but he may be a jerk, they laughed again. Th.at was when I realized that not everyone needed an emotional connection. I found it odd that people could be physically attracted to someone without knowing them. Again, I'm not talking morals or anything like that. I am talking about having genuine physical desire

For me, I can find someone attractive and not want to sleep with him. I am not showing restraint or anything like that. I truly have zero desire and feel no physical attraction toward another person. The physical desire creeps in only after a strong emotional bond has been developed. Likewise, when the bond begins, to wain (like when I found out my ex had been lying to me for 25 years), so does any physical desire.

Being demi-sexual, doesn't mean one isn't straight. It just means that physical attributes aren't what triggers physical desires for you. 
 

MJM017 wrote:

I imagine my demi-sexual feelings towards a partner would have made me easy prey to a conniver like my late GIDXH.

I agree. As long as we were emotionally bonded, he could do whatever he wanted.