I have good hands.

we have all been through the same experience where we failed to satisfy our partners.  Take a moment to shudder at the horror of that.

And it wasn't just that we failed to satisfy our partner, it came with a blame shift.

And then we spent years and years pickling in the same situation.  

Finally the truth dawns and you find yourself back in the dating pool feeling very much behind the eight ball.  

and this is a common experience.   what is less common is the understanding we have here in this group.  just think of all the people who get divorced knowing they are in an unhappy marriage but without even knowing at all their partner is gay in denial.

so in a sense we share a common experience in being behind the eight ball, but are also ahead of the curve.  

You haven't let yourself get hoovered up again, it's like jg said, we're getting more perception.  You know you have good hands right?

Someone was here just recently thanking Sean for his advice and saying she had dumped the gay in denial boyfriend and out of the blue got a new man and he's completely opposite to the boyfriend and everything she wanted.  It does happen.

I know things are really f'ked up in general and we do have to accept that affects all our outcomes but definitely, there are still women made of the right stuff.  My personal feeling is that it will just happen for you Victo because it's like breathing - happiness matters.  

 

Last edited by lily (August 25, 2022 5:29 pm)

Hi everyone,

Update on my situation, 🥁, worst than ever!

I didn’t check on the forum for a while, because all those comments I read on every one story, narcissist gay ex’s, how majority of the situations turned out bad, gave me even more anxiety.  I guess I wasn’t yet strong enough to face the reality you all had already faced. I’m I strong now? Not sure.

What kept me up for the last few months was praying, I asked god to save our relationship, to fix everything… and it lead me to knowing even more of his sick sexual behaviors. Addictions…

We went on no communication for almost 3 months, well, I send him loads of messages, insulting him for everything (not helpful, but I had to empty by bags) to which he never answered. Until a few days ago. Maaaan! The response was so deceiving…

He basically told me that stalking him on social media, to check that he follows naked man and gay couple account and then blame him for it was useless. That’s his right to like and follow who he wants.
That he has psychological issues and I keep reminding it by blame him on his “gay behavior”.
That as I cut the payment of his rent as soon as I knew his double life, I will for sur receive a letter from the landlord for the non payment of the rent. “I’m only warning you that you will receive a letter” to which a responded “thanks for letting me know, should have done that for the gay part too”.

He also told me that he never used me or manipulated me for anything, he really wanted me, that everything we shared was not a lie, he was 300% real with me … :l . That he always wanted to talk to me about it but he feared losing me… bullshit.

So I decided to go see him, without telling him. I still have a key of his appartement. Only to find that he was not there, he want on a trip with a friend… “a friend”. He said, I offered him to pay for the trip, that is supposed to reassure me that he didn’t not made me pay for his rent while traveling with “a friend”……

Anyway, as I said in the beginning, before I was not ready to face the realty, it was to painful to acknowledge the new founded situation, and have also to face the realty that the personne you once was everything to you, is in fact a manipulative and horrible person.

Had been down to many times now, I am forcing me to leave everything behind me, to not hope on any repair, or positive outcome for us as a couple. It is hard to choose me, when I never did. It is hard to loose felling and love you only knew your entire life.

Last msg I sent Him was : you should seek a therapist, not because you’re gay, but because you’re a fucking manipulative liar, that has only pity for himself, being gay is the least of your pb.