Wow! The support here is just so amazing. Thank you all for the advice.

It’s so validating to be understood at this level. My friends say how awful it must be, but they don’t know just how bad it feels.

Some days I feel like I’m spiraling and yesterday was one of those days. Reaching out on here was super helpful and I’m so so grateful for all the support and advice.

🥰🥰

My illness has me exhausted after seeing my pcp this morning but before I forgot I wanted to say that he says it's more common than one might think for a female partner to end up with more than one gay/bi/gender different partner in their life. He says he thinks it's because we are loving, sensitive gentle giving people and they can sense that and feel safe being themselves with us. I told him tongue-in-cheek that next time if there is one I plan to just ditch the loving caring me and be a biotch. 
Just sayin...

Rob wrote:

Agl03,

Thumbs up on your advice and handling this.
They make us feel mean or cruel for responding to their horrible actions with anything but compliance and support. It's some fantasy in their heads.."I will lie and hurt you and you will keep loving and supporting me without question or fail".

Redirect that fierce loyalty and love you have toward yourself and kids.

He clearly had a fantasy of how this would all play out.  Me withdrawing is only one of the things not going as he wanted.  I might be a hot mess but I can be a scary hot mess when it comes to protecting my kids. and I'll continue to do that.  Putting myself first in this is also empowering.