OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / To all the straightspouses on my side of the world.. It's the 25th of

**Posted by lily** December 25, 2021 11:46 am

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
Knowing my self and my strengths (and weaknesses)....it will be something I have to do and there will be no doubt that it will happen. It will be a shift in how I see myself and my future. I'm too old to go off half-cocked and bulletproof because this will be all about survival. Mine

oh that sounds like the marital death grip. Yeah, I can relate to that too.

That's just my term - the MDG - where both parties are wanting to outlive the other. I think it's sort of inevitable where it's not really a happy marriage. I saw it with my parents and for my mum, still wanting to protect us children, she didn't leave him until she was 80 when she realised she wasn't going to outlive him and divorce was a better option - and in so doing gave me such a good example to follow.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 25, 2021 2:05 pm

lily wrote:
oh that sounds like the marital death grip. ...where both parties are wanting to outlive the other. ...

I told him this morning we need to spend some time apart. I sent a message to my family in the middle of the night which I cannot unsay. I hope this is my point of no return

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 25, 2021 2:06 pm

Double-posting

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (December 25, 2021 2:07 pm)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 25, 2021 3:36 pm

Rob wrote:
Sincere Merry Christmas to all.
.....

And to you Rob

Elle

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 26, 2021 2:17 am

MJM017 wrote:
Merry Christmas!! 🎄 ( only two more hours of it left here in California.)

Elle, I hope it works out in your favor. We've been there and come out better.

Maria

4 more hours of Boxing Day for us. I spoke to my grandson in Seattle today and it's snowing there!

Best wishes to you MJM

Elle

**Posted by Soaplife** December 26, 2021 3:31 am

Hi Elle - it can be a tough time of year can't it? Add in some ridiculous heat - It was 43 degrees xmas and now boxing day is 44 - and its perfect for staying inside and sleeping off yesterday.

It was a little sad to think this is the last year all my kids and I will be together on Christmas day. They are partnering up - one will prob be in the UK next year with the inlaws, 2 others have partners with various family things they do.

I'm winding it right back next year - champagne breakfast😆🥂🍗🍾 and optional cold collation for anyone who wants to stay. Nothing stays the same, does it.

Hoping 2022 brings good different things your way.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 26, 2021 7:24 pm

Soaplife wrote:
...
I'm winding it right back next year - .......

Hoping 2022 brings good different things your way.

LOL...I think about winding Xmas right back EVERY year
Cheers Soap... Right back at you 😊

Elle

**Posted by Soaplife** December 26, 2021 10:59 pm

Elle my kids laughed at me too. You all must know something I don't 😆😆

**Posted by broomhilda2** December 26, 2021 11:55 pm

Elle - Sending you strength in the new year to take a little step forward each day. Congratulations on telling him you need time apart & reaching out to your family. That's huge!!

Last edited by broomhilda2 (December 27, 2021 10:04 am)

**Posted by Toward the Light** December 27, 2021 5:10 am

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
[...I told him this morning we need to spend some time apart. I sent a message to my family in the middle of the night which I cannot unsay. I hope this is my point of no return

What was his reply? Thinking of you, Elle.