OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / NYT is interested in interviewing couples in MOMs

**Posted by Sam (Admin)** October 25, 2021 4:59 pm

CALL FOR MIXED ORIENTATION COUPLES WILLING TO SHARE THEIR STORIES PUBLICLY WITH THE NEW YORK TIMES.
Hi Everyone,
OurPath is working with Derek Arthur of the New York Times Opinion Section for a new podcast project. He is looking for couples in Mixed Orientation Relationships/Marriages to interview on their beliefs about their relationships. He has asked that I connect him with “couples who are trying to make their mixed orientation marriages work and are willing to talk about that openly. ”This could include couples (gay-straight, bi-straight, trans-cis, etc.)
- Who knowingly entered into a MOM from the outset.
- Couples in which one partner came out during the course of the marriage.
- Couples who are actively wrestling with how to navigate their relationship.
- Couples who feel they have clear views on their relationship status. If you and your spouse/partner are willing to talk openly, please direct message me and I will have OurPath connect you with Derek.

**Posted by Patience** October 25, 2021 8:09 pm

Doesn't it sound like the NYT has an angle of trying to normalize MOM here? It's not normal to marry for any reason besides love in my opinion.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** October 25, 2021 10:06 pm

"trans-cis" This is why I have pulled back from the SSN. This bullshit labeling of me as "cis." I am not cis. Don't misgender ME. "Cis" implies that I am down with the gender stereotypes that have been mandate for my sex. I am not. I will NOT be defined as an adjunct of "trans."

Last edited by OutofHisCloset (October 25, 2021 10:07 pm)

**Posted by Patience** October 26, 2021 7:22 am

I had to google cis gender, I had no idea this label existed. We have too many labels already, why can't we just say that everyone is unique, like our fingerprints. I'm a woman but I act more like a man at work because it's a masculine culture and that's okay. I don't need to be labeled for that, nor do I need the work culture to change. People are complex and adaptable so labeling every subtle difference is pointless.

**Posted by walkbymyself** October 26, 2021 11:47 am

I'd love to be invited to discuss my experience, but not if it means propagating a cruel and destructive narrative.

**Posted by lily** October 26, 2021 2:17 pm

cis - comfortable in skin. as long as you don't have a rash I suppose.

Why exclude the input from the many people who don't think a mom can work - It has to be a puff piece of journalism intended doesn't it?

The thing I have been noticing recently is that there is a loud and strong narrative about how the battered wife will take her husband's side. Not nearly so much of a narrative about how the battered husband does his wife's bidding. it is a profound level of control and deceit to which men are just as vulnerable as we are.

**Posted by walkbymyself** October 27, 2021 10:16 am

Lily, totally agree. One thing I've learned reading this site for so long, is there are two things we really don't understand in our culture. We don't understand womens' sexuality, and we don't understand men's emotional complexity. We're still locked into that narrative that women have sex for love, and men have sex for orgasms. Speaking as a woman who was deprived of sex for over two decades, I can assure you my husband used that fairy tale to rationalize what he did to me, and he has no remorse about anything beyond getting caught.

**Posted by lily** October 28, 2021 2:30 am

thanks, it's nice being agreed with!