OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / How long did it take???

**Posted by Rob** July 30, 2021 6:02 am

I see both sides.

I see the hindsight about divorcing quicker, living in the abuse longer, having less time to start over.

I see the need too stay for financial reasons, the kids lives, the legal process.

I think everyone is doing the best they can ..there is no one size fits all. Each way has pluses and minuses..not everyone can endure abuse or has the financial means to leave etc.

TGT is a horrible thing. My hats off and deep respect for anyone going through it nd dealing with it in whatever manner they can. In this life and the next God will see.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 30, 2021 1:27 pm

Rob wrote:
....
TGT is a horrible thing. My hats off and deep respect for anyone going through it nd dealing with it in whatever manner they can....

❤️ And I second that

Elle

**Posted by walkbymyself** August 2, 2021 4:27 pm

Fourth.

**Posted by Papagumdrop** August 23, 2021 12:54 pm

I fought it, thinking I needed to stay for the kids, for 6 months. My son had just been born 6 months earlier and that made it extra hard to accept and move on. Then I accepted it and she moved out 4 months later. What I saw as keeping my promise to love and care for her only cost me. Everyone has their own speed but I encourage you to separate when you can and file as soon as possible. My state had a one year waiting period to file so I had to do that but I put it off even longer hoping she would stay in state but finally finalized it in December 2020. She announced she was leaving the next month so I guess I was correct lol.

Bottom line take care of yourself first, and part of that self care is likely making as healthy a break as possible. My Ex left the state today to move in with her girlfriend on our daughters first day of school and I finally feel like I can breathe. Which is good since I will need that breath to comfort my children. Save your breath for yourself and others who really need it.