Sean, I think one of the big differences in MOMs is where there is a straight spouse involved, the dynamic is so different with an open vulnerable straight than when neither partner is straight and both of you are being deceptive. 

There's that extra level of sociopathy with people like my ex - I'm pretty certain he liked taunting his boyfriends just as much as he liked taunting me.

oh yes to add isn't that a lot of reads I think it is testament to all the effort you have made to help us straights.

thanks, Sean.

Last edited by lily (March 12, 2025 8:22 am)

Hi everyone, I'm really glad I found this forum and you, Sean. I have a question, and I’d love to hear your perspective, as well as input from others. I won’t go into my full story here—I'll save that for another post.My question is: If a married man has been using gay dating apps for five years and admits to sleeping with four men but insists that he is not gay, what do you think? He says he didn’t enjoy those encounters, that he sometimes showed up for dates but left without doing anything, and his explanations are often vague.

 To me, five years seems like a pattern—it's hard to believe that someone would repeatedly engage in something they don’t actually enjoy.Now, he is asking for forgiveness and promises never to do it again. If I were to even consider forgiving him (which feels extremely difficult), I need to understand—does this sound like deception to you? He has lied a lot in the past, so I don’t know what to believe.I’d really appreciate any honest thoughts or insights.