It sounds like you are processing your thoughts well.  You should be proud of yourself.

As for couple’s therapy?  It’s a total waste of time.  My LEX used our two disastrous sessions as opportunities to crap all over me and point out all of my “faults” and “contribution” to the demise of our marriage.  At the time, I listened to her because she was still the person who I trusted and loved the most in the world.  She is a narcissist, a species which refuses to take blame for anything.  My suggestion is to not waste your time.

The key thing I learned from individual therapy was that I was guilty of only one thing:  I wasn’t the lesbian she never told me she needed.