A couple years ago (maybe even 1 year) I read some articles, and discussions on the Forum about Fogiveness. The word needs a capital 'F'...it's a deep, wide and long concept that is personalised by each person who tackles it. Back then I was like.....me? forgive?....nuh-uh, no way. How does anybody do that?!

Removing myself emotionally (partially) & sexually (totally) from the r'ship has allowed me to see it in a completely different light and I can sense the possibility of forgiving this man who destroyed my future with him, because now those ties are gone there's no need for me not to forgive him. And the thought of moving into the next phase of my life with no bitterness....wow!

In saying that....I'm not there yet. I'm still living one side of this r'ship with a man who won't talk about IT unless I bring it up. But.....I no longer need to talk about fixing us anymore.....and he's silent anyway

seekinganewlife wrote:

 Welcome to our Forum Seeking  
>> After all, I'm 63 and my first date with him was my 30th birthday....I was 27 when I met my partner. I'm now 61

 >> I'm old, flabby, and unfuckable....Omg....sex is so 'off the table' that it's fallen down a crevasse. Never to be seen, thought of, or desired again

Or maybe you’re a gilf, i.e., grandma I’d like to ....We had an adventurous 4 year open r'ship....til I discovered we weren't doing it for us, we were doing it for him. I thank my self-awareness I was able to see it before it destroyed me 

I got involved with my ex back in the ’90s. I had no clue about online dating. When I tried it, I was shocked. I’d assumed I was fat, middle-aged, and no one would want me. Turns out I’m a bbw (big beautiful woman).Who knew? I soon got overwhelmed with attention from horny men. I wound up glad I’m not more conventionally attractive. It’d be like sorting out grains of sand on a beach.....These online sex sites are run by people with a different moral compass, using a language a language of enticement (BBW) to make women feel wanted. But even men get duped on these sites. My partner once was asked, online, by a (supposedly) 19 yo women to "write me a story and turn me on"  The story he sent her made me feel uneasy & sick. I said to him "that 19 yo is probably a man" He said "that's not the point" 
This is one of the defining memorable moments in my realisation that my r'ship was not what I thought

i have no idea whether you’d have a similar experience. I’m just saying, the world is different now....Damn right it's different Seeking. And we're all approaching it differently

Elle