some time passed and i'm still on rollercoaster.
it's not that hard, like it was before.
i'm doing my best to stand firmly on the ground.

i still could not understand what happened, guess i would never will. but at least i could try to react to all the happenings with more or less clear mind. 

today we told our kid, that she's leaving our home. after we finished our babbling about "it was a decision that we had to make" and "nothing changes to you in your daily life", he just told "could i go back? (to his room)".
He didn't seem surprized or somehow irritated. Maybe he's just going through it himself, without showing emotions. But later at the evening we even could both take some jokes from series: "look, mom's leaved just for several hours and we already forgot to make some food for tomorrow". And we actually sincerelly laughed. Of course, the problems could arise later, but now i'm proud with him, he standed this news just ok. Way better than me, to be precise.

So, it was really a big releave for me not to hide all this divorce s**t from our son.
Things that disturbs me, is that i just lost my best friend and one of our "life triangle" we've builded together. It would never be the same, for good or for bad.

Also, i feel almost cleaned from anger i felt her. I guess, that anger just transformed to some kind of melancholy. I just watched photos from her social page and remembered the evolution from a young, restless person, she was when i met her, to a mother of wonderful boy and a beautiful woman.

Well, i always knew it, but i've got some evidence right to my face - things just happen. 
 

Last edited by morpheus (August 15, 2019 3:10 pm)