OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Commonalities

**Posted by phoenix** January 18, 2019 9:39 am

powerlineman wrote:
lily wrote:
It also appears to be easier for a bisexual woman to be monogamous than a bisexual man.
I met another str8 woman who thought the same thing at a face-to-face get together the local SSN sponsor set up. She was surprised that there just as many str8 men at the meeting as str8 women.
And there are also the BIDW's that bounce from man to man trying to "cure" their SSA. They don't just run off with a woman.

I often wonder if women who claim to be bi-sexual are more likely to be honest and correct about this than men who make the same claim. I wonder if most men who claim to be bi-sexual are really gay and just using the bi-sexual label as a less guilty and less discriminatory label than gay.

Of course my own ex-wife told me she was Bi.. but that turned out to be a lie.

Last edited by phoenix (January 18, 2019 9:39 am)

**Posted by Daryl** January 18, 2019 5:47 pm

powerlineman wrote:
I met another str8 woman who thought the same thing at a face-to-face get together the local SSN sponsor set up. She was surprised that there just as many str8 men at the meeting as str8 women.

The meetings I went to were often very evenly split between men and women. Most of the women had plenty of in-denial type experiences they lived through. With the men it wasn't so much ongoing denial but a sudden revelation that their spouses didn't prefer men.

Do men publicly talk about being a straight spouse? I'm racking my brains here trying to come up with one well-known male straight who publicly talks about it. I know I don't talk about it except with other straights and with a select few people who are mostly female. I know far too many guys who, upon hearing that your spouse/ex declared themselves bi or lesbian, would respond with something like "Score! Did you get to watch?"

**Posted by ThisSeason** January 21, 2019 11:22 am

It does seem that many times with women it is much more sudden and they don't stay in denial or hidden as long as men do.

And I can understand how so many guys would respond like you mentioned upon hearing that a straight husband discovered his wife was bi or gay. Making jokes and acting like "Well what's the problem with that? Sounds like it could be fun. "

**Posted by walkbymyself** January 21, 2019 2:11 pm

Daryl wrote:
I know far too many guys who, upon hearing that your spouse/ex declared themselves bi or lesbian, would respond with something like "Score! Did you get to watch?"

Daryl, this attitude drives me crazy. Talk to bi women -- they get this all the time.

One thing this forum has really opened my eyes to is the emotional complexity of men. I've always known that our culture has practically no real understanding of female sexuality, but it's only after reading stories that men post here I've come to understand the flip side: that we have no appreciation for the emotional attachments men make in their marriages. We expect men to be all about sex all the time, and we expect women to only use sex to get love. I think this is one really important lesson I've learned from posting/reading here.

What I do notice here is that more often than not, divorce is initiated by women (whether the woman is the straight spouse or the gay one). Not an absolute rule, but it does seem to skew that way.

**Posted by ThisSeason** January 22, 2019 9:36 am

I wonder if part of the reason that gay women are more likely than gay men to initiate divorce is that it seems very permissible and relatively easy for gay men to hook up for sex, where as lesbian dating is a bit less about hook up culture and lean more towards dating relationships?