I think that those are red flags for sure. Hetrosexual men would have no reason to watch gay porn. He's closing his eyes during sex.I would assume that is because he does not want to look into your eyes. I broke up with my gay ex boyfriend almost two years ago. I wish you the very best of luck.

Learningthehardway....this is the best site to ask questions like yours. Even when you already know the answer it's helpful to talk in straightspouse language with people who know exactly what you mean

6 years ago when I was asking A. about his internet use and "do you have another log in account?" and "why do you have to look at so much porn and literotica?"...he got so angry he threw the laptop across the room against the wall. Another time we were having a bath and I'd started asking him questions. A. became angry and leapt (yes leapt, water everywhere...I would've laughed if I wasn't so surprised) out of the bath.
But I remember the feeling of shame I felt that I had made him angry and tried to "be better" What the actual fuck! I know now that he was trying to keep me away from the secrets he kept and the easiest way for him was to get angry, dismissive, ridiculing.
He played me like that till my intuition and commonsense told me to open my eyes and really see what was in front of me
...a man who was using me to hide the person he liked to be (only sometimes) but who he was ashamed to let anybody else see.

When you finally get angry at the injustice of what he's doing and the diminishing of who you are....you can begin to take steps to rectify it all.

The real kicker in all this is that it mostly happens at an age when we're ready to enjoy the wonderful life/retirement we expected to have with the people we thought we knew.
You're in the right place Learning

Elle

I learned the hard way to stop reacting when my late GIDXH made up stories. He goaded me to make me look crazy if I lashed out in anger.  It made his slander of me appear true.

I knew it was the beginning of the end when this happened to me. It may be true for you. I'd suggest seeing a few family law attorneys to know what your rights and obligations are in your marriage.  No need to tell your h and you're under no obligation to go further than this.