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March 24, 2020 8:15 am  #11


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

Ellexoh, how is it in NZ now? I’m in CA, and I’m afraid this lockdown is just at the very beginning. There aren’t many cases in my area yet, but there will be. It’s slowly getting here, too. It feels like a tidal wave, slowly but surely heading this way.

Yes, thanks for the prayers and e-hugs Rob.... it’s a nightmare I never imagined in my wildest dreams, to be isolated with my GID husband while trying to homeschool the five kids... again. I’ve worked so hard the last few years to get away from the extreme isolation that we all lived in as he would be gone for work four to five days a week and I would stay home on the farm and homeschool... but now we’re all trapped again. He’s delighted, on his absolute best behavior, showing the kids how wonderful he is. He’ll swoop in anytime he hears them get upset with me and be the knight in shining armor, being oh-so-patient, carrying the frustrated one away to put on calming music or being super nice and encouraging... it makes me want to scream at him, because he was NEVER there to help me for years and years of real homeschooling. And he’s only doing all of this to brainwash the kids so they’ll supply him with attention.
The one area he keeps messing up in though and can’t pretend away is his compulsion to decorate himself. He can’t resist putting on our daughter’s cute vest and prancing around to get their attention, or putting on our son’s little St Patrick’s day hat with our daughter’s pretty clover scarf... he came and found me in the kitchen and just stood there all dressed up, waiting for my reaction. I had none. Other than wanting to run far, far away.

 

March 24, 2020 9:54 am  #12


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

Oneday,

Its hard..so very hard..i was not quaranteened back then but I lived it...the GX acting like super mom but not wearing her wedding rings anymore.

They show us who they are by their actions toward us..not how they treat the kids.  My,gx was perfectly evil,treating the kids well but me like shit all in the same minute..how they maintain that behavior separation is something we,need to learn..it doesnt come,naturally to honest and empathetic people like ourselves.

I say, you have a use for him..dressed up,as a girl,or not..he can watch the kids and give you a break..use him,for that..but dont think his actions constitute a change in his true feelings and beliefs about you.

We need to find a use for these hurtful spouses..otherwise what good are they..


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

March 24, 2020 11:53 am  #13


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

OneDayAtATime wrote:

Ellexoh, how is it in NZ now? I’m in CA, and I’m afraid this lockdown is just at the very beginning. There aren’t many cases in my area yet, but there will be. It’s slowly getting here, too. It feels like a tidal wave, slowly but surely heading this way.

Omg Oneday....it's like the world is living a movie script. NZ has approx 155-60 cases but climbing because of those returning from overseas and not isolating themselves. We have no deaths here yet. (See, typing those words feels like I'm an actress reading a script). I lay in bed this morning thinking I thought my life couldn't get any worse. Then along came this virus to put everything in a different perspective.

It's not right having to set aside the pain we're in to focus on something that may end life as we know it...but I believe when this Covid19 has been irradiated some straightspouses will See the light at the end of their tunnel and head *straight* for it


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

March 25, 2020 3:52 pm  #14


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

As of midnight 25th March New Zealand's borders are closed except for residents returning. My country is in Lockdown for at least 4 weeks, probably longer. 

Which means being in lockdown with somebody I've lived and loved for 35 years but with whom I am no longer in a sexual r'ship with. I guess we're now flatmates and I AM lucky that his insular/introverted nature means this difficult time will pass with us in more of a friendship. 
I used to wonder who he called/emailed/met when he was at work. But today, working from home in his office set up on the kitchen table, on a conference call with colleagues I have to keep telling myself " it does not matter....anymore" 

It's strange having one's daily routine broken and having to stay in the "bubble" with him for the foreseeable future

KIA KAHA everybody....Elle


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

March 25, 2020 6:58 pm  #15


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

These boards have seen a number of new posters in the past week or two, so it appears that the strain of carrying on a double life or of being a straight spouse during these uncertain days of Covid-19 is taking its toll.

Stay strong, everyone.  If you can't get out, you can at least come here. 

Stay safe.  

 

March 25, 2020 9:13 pm  #16


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

I thought I was the only straight spouse (kind of rare)  when I found this board 7 months ago. I mistakenly thought the closet had died out years ago.  It’s still going strong, even among young people.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

March 26, 2020 1:38 pm  #17


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

OutofHisCloset wrote:

These boards have seen a number of new posters in the past week or two,........Stay safe.  

 

Yip OOHC.....I've noted that too. I expect the world....and in turn individual straightspouse situations.....will be very different on the other side of this when priorities adjust themselves in the minds and hearts of those who have been indecisive about where and with who they want to be
 


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

March 26, 2020 1:41 pm  #18


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

MJM017 wrote:

I thought I was the only straight spouse (kind of rare) when I found this board 7 months ago.....

 

I am sure that am the only straightspouse in New Zealand....lol
 


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

March 27, 2020 12:51 am  #19


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

A lot of marriages are MOMs, I reckon it's maybe 50%?  something around that in the people I know.  

We are increasingly staying home here.  The worst of the panic buying is over and there is food in the shops.  I just went and did some shopping, lots of people with scarves wrapped round their face and people wearing gloves as well as sanitisers in every shop.  Not many shops will be left open after this week.  Just food and petrol pretty much.  Glad I went to town today as I wanted to buy some nice linen sheets.  And today I heard we have some cases here in my area,  7 last week, 17 this week.

it is so eerie, such a profound change and the feeling that things will not go back to normal again.  but so far I am enjoying staying curled up at home.  My little brain simply curls up at the thought of doing it with my ex.  So glad I am in my own home.  being a complete sook at the moment.

all the best, everyone.  Lily

 

March 27, 2020 1:52 am  #20


Re: Covid19/Coronavirus

lily wrote:

 

Lily good to know you're okay. We're all in lockdown here, told to isolate but when we do leave our home to keep a 2 metre distance from other people

As for the MOM label I stopped thinking of myself in a MOM the day our sexual r'ship ended
 

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (April 6, 2020 12:56 pm)


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

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