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January 28, 2020 11:10 pm  #11

Re: Experience with a questioning spouse with past of sexual abuse?

C By The Sea,

Am sorry you find yourself here. We can relate to the confusion & disbelief of discovering our spouse is not straight.

What do you think will help if you’re unsure about your therapist’s advice?  It took me six months to take action after I found out about my xh.  The shock was overwhelming.

While you mull over next steps, don’t sign over any shared assets to him. Also do not sign away your rights as beneficiary of his pensions.

I don’t believe your financial outlook is as dismal as you think. I estimate you are entitled to at least 40% to 50% of his military pension and SS benefits, based on length of marriage.

You get 50% of the joint assets.  You will get alimony, training for a job and health insurance benefits paid by him since he is the high earner. This is a standard financial arrangement in the US for dissolution of long-term marriages.

I wish you the best and find strength to take care of yourself & your adult children.

Last edited by MJM017 (January 28, 2020 11:13 pm)

No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 

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