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Very early after D-day, before the decision to divorce, I recall considering so many alternatives to keep my family together and to keep my children together with their mother. Simply put, any of them would have made me a cuckold with no sense of self or self - respect. I chose to leave, I grieved the divorce, the loss of family, etc. and it HURT like HELL.
As noted in my story, my new wife and I are combining households this year. We closed on the new house in June and are still in the middle of the largest, most complex, and most expensive move of my life but I can say it was all the right call. We’ve already had out of town visitors, my daughter has had sleep overs and we’ve had many of those small moments that feel like family that I can honestly say I didn’t have in my MOM.
Take-away ... as much as my ex wanted to be straight and tried to be straight, she just wasn’t capable of being completely present and that gap affected all of us. While it hurt to leave the shores of the familiar, and there were many storms in the last few years, I believe I’ve arrived at the shores of the authentic, with my self and self respect intact.
ADSJ
Last edited by a_dads_straight_journey (July 30, 2019 11:08 am)
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The forbidden activities from the late GIDXH was listening to Queen, Elton John, disco/trance/club songs, Boy George, new wave (many groups or singers were gay). It loved listening. I felt dead. I wish I could think of more examples...too painful.
I looked at his memorialized FB page recently. He hated the movie Moonlight - many posts. It was my favorite film of 2016.
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wow yes great piece of writing. she is so right about burying our needs. please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks her fiancé is gay.
I know he had an affair with a woman but it strikes me as just the same as what my ex did - it is such a good cover. 'I slept with another woman.' and gets you back into line if you are being too serious about your needs. The truth is he was sleeping with men before he even met me.
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Lily, when I discovered proof of my late GIDXH's gay issues, he "confessed" he was picking up women instead. No males. He loved me soooo much and would enter couples counseling. Smart move because there is a slight possibility to fix a hetero cheating situation, but not a gay one. Was furious at another manipulation - kicked him out.
Last edited by MJM017 (August 1, 2019 1:12 pm)
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yes exactly - looking back, knowing what I know now it makes me feel sick - how deliberately manipulative it was. Ugh!