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January 19, 2018 3:40 pm  #11


Re: What next?

The second quote is a consequence of the first.

 

January 19, 2018 3:46 pm  #12


Re: What next?

And?  

 

January 19, 2018 3:59 pm  #13


Re: What next?

OutofHisCloset wrote:

And?  

 

And....while it's okay for a man's wife to say that.....to say it about somebody else' husband 
to his wife, I feel....is taking bitterness too far
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

January 19, 2018 4:14 pm  #14


Re: What next?

Deleted

Last edited by Duped (August 28, 2019 2:03 pm)

 

January 19, 2018 4:25 pm  #15


Re: What next?

    There are a number of things many of us would like for others to have said about our husbands, things that might have saved us a lot of anguish.   
   Many of us have heard tough talk here and not only survived the shock but were ultimately grateful for it.       Some of us benefit from hearing some things about our husbands or partners from others' perspective because we are unable to comprehend or don't want to believe the extent to which we are being abused.  
   A little honest tongue in cheek humor is not a violation of a sacred trust.  It certainly doesn't begin to approach the real violation of the sacred trust here: Roo's husband's actions. 

 

January 19, 2018 5:01 pm  #16


Re: What next?

Back on topic..                  
Hey guys I had these things...well not the pills...showing up at my house daily.   My GX kept it all in a bag ..tried to hide it.she took the bag with her when she went out with her girlfriend.   It was quite demeaning..thought she was so clever and secret.

Roo,   I know the feeling..  I was very worried she would bring drugs into the home.    Its like once she knew the marriage was over so there were no limits anymore.     Just know that they have secrets ..there is nothing we can do to control them..this is all them.   Its a horrible feeling knowing  that our moral picture of them was really really wrong.   You can vent here Roo...and you'll get support and strong reactions to the hurt he is causing you.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

January 21, 2018 2:39 pm  #17


Re: What next?

No, I would not want my husband to die I just want this situation to die and go away. I know it won't. This is how he is and I can't do anything to change it. You would think with what he has to lose, not just me but big time financially, he does not have common sense. We live in a right to half state. I could make out very well but I would rather have the husband I met and married back. 


“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
 
     Thread Starter
 

January 21, 2018 7:20 pm  #18


Re: What next?

I never in a million years would have thought there would be other men involved. We did have an issue 7 years into the marriage with a girl that we went diving with often. He even wrote her a long letter how much he wanted to be with her. I still have that letter hidden. That is another long story. I forgave him for that. This is unforgivable. He just doesn't get what he is doing to me. I've been too nice of a person through this whole ordeal. I have ALWAYS been the 'good wife'. I wish I can change that. Hopefully someday I will. Going to be 58 this year and it sucks thinking I have to start all over again. IT'S NOT FAIR! for any of us is it?


“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
 
     Thread Starter
 

January 21, 2018 7:28 pm  #19


Re: What next?

I have to put my thoughts here. I agree that I wish my husband had died instead of me having to discover that he has been gay all his life. I could have than believed that he was just an a** hole that I spent all my marriage trying to figure out what was wrong. I am 72 years old now, he stole 34 years of my life. His death would have been easier than this divorce and I would have been much better off financially. Just maybe I would have felt sad for him dying and not having to know he was gay. I wish I didn't know ! Am I angry? Hell yes!

 

January 21, 2018 7:30 pm  #20


Re: What next?

Roo wrote:

....Going to be 58 this year and it sucks thinking I have to start all over again. IT'S NOT FAIR! for any of us is it?

I'm 59 this year Roo. No...it's so far from "fair" that it's disproportionately biased


KIA KAHA                       
 

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