Hi Chmiddy6

Like you, I thought I married a good man. Even after discovering the GT I thought him to be a good, Christian man.  We were best friends too (big problem since that is all we were).  Once you confront him, that may change.  You may discover a whole new person that is less good than the one you know now - just a warning.  He might not tell you the truth.  He might lie straight to your face.  Please consider that being raised by a homophobic father might have him fear discovery more than he values truth and honesty between the two of you.  He is probably terrified of his secret being revealed and loosing you.  He might still be trying to fight against this SSA.  He would want to maintain the status quo and will defend that.  When confronting him, I would suggest approach with an open mind.  Know his normal behaviour and reaction and be open to read the signs of lies. Weigh what you know for facts against his responses and explanations. But I think you need to talk to him.  You need to decide what is important to you and what you can live with and he needs to understand that and meet your needs. The two of you are the most important components of that marriage - not one of you.  Both should be happy. 
I could not live with a sexless marriage and as soon as I told my ex that it completely rocked the boat.  I insisted on counselling not only with a therapist, but a sexologist because I would no longer put a bandage on the wound and moved on.  I wanted the source of the problem to be identified, cleaned and healed.  My ex was terrified to see a sexologist but I insisted and told him I will walk away and not look back because I refuse to continue with such a marriage.  He never went, but by that time I had my answer as to what I am dealing with.  

I feel for you and hope you find the answers that you are looking for.  
 

Last edited by Mrs Lonely (November 29, 2017 8:04 am)