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October 3, 2017 4:42 pm  #1


Misunderstood

I've always thought of myself as an ally of the LGBTQ community. Now I am being tested. My MTF TG CD partner says, as he has just come out of the closet to me after many, many years, that our inside joke is that he's totally straight.  Well, dude, I AM totally straight. Sure I am an ally, but I cannot change my hetero orientation. So, he thanks me for being supportive, while I am quite actually sick to my stomach about this. I am supportive, but I am not interested in him as a woman.  I am hurt that he has put me in a position to feel like a hypocrite. What am I supposed to behave like when he decides to flip into female presentation?!?!

 

October 3, 2017 5:53 pm  #2


Re: Misunderstood

You are not a hypocrite.  He deceived you and is living a double life.  Being an ally to the LGBTQ community does not mean you have to be involved sexually.  You have been victimized.  Forget about the idea of being an advocate and think about what type of person lies to someone about such a huge part of themselves for so long?  He has a storage unit?  May  I ask if he came out and told you this information or did you find out on your own?

 

October 9, 2017 9:10 pm  #3


Re: Misunderstood

Majenco, he sat me down a few months ago and said he had something important to discuss. It's an aspect of himself he hid from me for over 30 years. I did miss a few signs.  He has always sat down to pee, which I thought was a conditioned behavior because he is a heavy drinker and I honestly assumed he sat because he couldn't trust himself to aim.  A fear years ago he shaved all his body hair, but said that was common for men who do triathalons.  When I complained about the stubble of his chest making me raw, he got mad and we broke up awhile. Then there was unisex looking boy briefs that didn't phase me a bit. It was when I neglected my laundry and needed a quick pair of undies, borrowed a pair of unisex boy briefs.  That apparently made him feel like I wasn't uptight about men cross dressing.  That's what inspired him to tell me. Of course, the admission starts out slow and gentle, but last week he said he wants to start going out in public presenting as a female with me to bars or something a FEW TIMES A WEEK. We don't go out that often so all of a sudden, he wants to be a social butterfly.

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