If your state allows through age 21, then yes - you stand a chance of getting it even if your ex doesn't agree.  If he does agree, then fine - even better.  Let me tell you how my last (lawyerless) proceeding went just over a year and a half ago now.

I get a text from my ex telling me that he petitioned the court to drop my 18th year old, who had already moved out.  He told me the date.  Then I get a letter in the mail the next day, stating the same thing.  I can't find a lawyer because it's the holiday season (Merry Christmas!).  So I go it alone.

- We see each other in court.  I'm prepared.  I've brought the last order for support, along with the breakdown of how it's calculated (in my case, it's a certain percentage for support + 1/2 of the kids' insurance premium + a set amount for arrearage).

- The public defender calls my ex out to the hallway.  They speak, and then he comes back in and sits down.  Then she calls me to do the same.  She tells me that he wants to drop support (to which I agree), and that he also wants to claim a kid on his taxes.  I say no.  She's like, "Well,..... this is a common request - he does pay support."  I say, "Yeah, and it's an artificially low amount because he's a waiter and his provable income is very low.  He's paying $600 a month toward two kids, and he's wanting to claim one of them?  That's grocery money."  She says, "Well, that is what he's asking for."  So I say, "I figured he would.  And I'm saying no - absolutely not.  And I'M requesting that his child support come directly out of his paycheck from now on.  Tell him that if he's going to claim a kid, that I'm going to want to see his tax returns every year."  I go back and sit down.

- Lawyer calls him again.  He comes in looking ashen.  I have no idea at that point what he said.

- Judge calls us.  The lawyer approaches the bench with us.  She explains everything and then backs away for the judge to do his work.  He asks if we both agree to drop my oldest from support.  I say yes.  I then tell him that it doesn't change the insurance premium any though, since it's an amount for any kids - be it one or ten.  And that arrearage isn't going to change.  So the only amount that's going to change is that it goes from (can't remember but using an example) from 24% of his paycheck to 22%.  Dude has his paycheck with him.  Judge asks to see it.  It's the LAST paycheck of the year, so it shows all earnings claimed.  Yay!  Judge calculates things, and it now comes out to $4 MORE per two-week period than it did before.  Ha ha!  Dumbass thought it was going to be 1/3 less or something.

THEN ex asks to claim a kid.  Judge says, "The court reserves that benefit for parents who are up-to-date on their support."  Ex says, "But I AM!  I pay on time all the time!"  Judge says, "But there's an arrearage amount in your support payment.  Which means that you're NOT current - you still owe back monies."  My ex says that it should be paid off by now (no).  Judge asks how much arrearage was owed at the beginning of the order.  Ex doesn't know.  I have the eact figure in front of me, though.  Judge uses calculator to figure out how much ex has paid into arrearage based on how much of support money goes toward that hole.  Judge says something akin to "You started out owing $17K, and you've paid $36 a month for approximately 24 months, and you think you've paid it off???"  Ex looks ashen.  Judge says, "Plus the interest on the arrearage."  Ex says, "Interest?!?"  Judge says, "Yes - 9%".  Ex looks like he's going to throw up or faint.  Judge says, "So when you're all caught up, you can come back and ask the court if you can claim a child.  At this rate, when would that be, Mom?"  And I say, "Well after the kids are no longer able to collect support."  Judge says, "Yep".  He then says, "Now...., if you're very close to being paid off, you can ask your ex wife to forgive the amount you still owe."  Ex turns to me and says, "Will you forgive me for the amount I owe?"  I'm like, "You mean what you owe NOW?"  He says yes.  I say, "No."  He looks at the judge for help.  The judge simply says, "I didn't mean NOW  - I said when you're close to it being paid off - not eight thousand dollars from it being paid off.  Don't you know how much you have left to pay?  Ex says, "No, how much is it?"  And judge says, "How should Iiiiii know?  This is YOUR debt - how come you are the only one in the dark here about what YOU owe?"  Now ex looks like he's going to vommit.  Judge decrees that our oldest will be dropped from support, that ex is denied claiming any of the kids on his taxes, and that the new amount is X - $4 more than before.

We leave.  I get the new amount.

My ex agreed to nothing.  And learned that if he's going to drag me to court, he'd better have his i's dotted, his t's crossed, and understand that while we're there, I'm GOING to ask for something else.

Kel