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May 11, 2017 2:02 am  #11

Re: Erection issues in GIDH


Last edited by Duped (November 11, 2019 2:45 pm)


May 11, 2017 2:14 am  #12

Re: Erection issues in GIDH

It's amazing their ability to suck us back in isn't it.   Mine said to me today, "i never told you no or denied you".  No he never told me no in words, he would just lay there and go to sleep.   He also told me that taking oral from me wasn't denying me which I might agree with if it hadn't been 6 months since we had had any sexual contact and he then roled over and went to sleep.   Mine is now playing the devastated husband that never knew I felt rejected....


May 11, 2017 2:31 am  #13

Re: Erection issues in GIDH


Last edited by Duped (November 11, 2019 2:44 pm)


May 11, 2017 4:09 am  #14

Re: Erection issues in GIDH

Yes definitely a problem throughout my relationship of 20+ years. Erectile dysfunction on and off for the entire relationship, starting in his early twenties and extending right up to now at age 48. He would get frustrated that his dick wasn't working, and I learned not to make a fuss about it because that only seemed to make the problem worse. We tried couples therapy, sex therapy, viagra, trips to the doctor, and so on and so on. I tried and tried to help him fix the problem. I became intensely and silently frustrated and wondered what I could do to make a difference. In a word - nothing. I'm a doctor myself, so I knew that once the physical causes had been excluded it was all psychological. But he just kept me guessing what it might be in his head that was causing the problem. Was he abused as a child? I asked. No. Was he having an affair? No. Was he addicted to porn? No. Had he just lost desire for me? No.
I never thought to ask if he was gay.
If I had known the saying from iamthelorax about the dick being the best lie detector, I might have saved a lot of years and much heartache. 


May 14, 2017 4:11 pm  #15

Re: Erection issues in GIDH

I hope I don't seem skanky by admitting to 5 serious relationships with men over the course of my 52 years...And maybe it was just my bad luck, but each one of them had some form of ED, at least occasionally if not often. Even the young ones. And I don't think it was because of me. They all had their own issues.


May 17, 2017 7:24 am  #16

Re: Erection issues in GIDH

Mine could not hold up especially when the session was long and could only finish when it was the  doggy-way. Lots of times there was no kissing and foreplay involved.  
Best was yet to come - after I discovered that he was GID and he tried to convince me that he was into me, I would put him off by sleeping with my front side facing him.  If I gave him my back he was more comfortable approaching me...  Sickening... I know.


May 17, 2017 6:29 pm  #17

Re: Erection issues in GIDH

Yes, I have. I still reside with him and we do not have sex anymore. I did notice long before I confronted him on being GID that we had issues in the bedroom. He didn't seem to pay much attention to my girly parts. He did not look me in my eyes while having sex, their was no passion at all for me as a woman. He wanted oral alot but.. did not reciprocate for me much ever. Many times he KNEW I was not pleasured and would not say he was sorry or would work on it but tell me he was tired or made me feel badly about my own body. I even went to surgery after having three children to get a tightening up for him. Still he wasn't happy , he started nagging for anal alot. He knew this was something I did not enjoy but continued to ask for it. I was not experienced with other men when we met so he was able to make me think some things we did in bed was what everyone did as he told me about many threesomes he had with 2 women, Hah! . I also seemed to only get him to complete orgasm while having anal oral or vaginal doggy style. He wanted the lights out or would close his eyes and turn his head away from me if I was on top. around 14 or 15 yrs ago I went and got us toys to liven things up in the bedroom, ya know, oils, a dildo, small anal vibrator. It did improve our sex life for a bit, however he was the one that was asking me to bring the dildo  to bed..sometimes asking right in the middle of sex... I found out later ( through girl talk) that most men just aren't  into doing that with their women and feel threatened almost by them.. Yeah, isn't easy, not at all and really screws up your sense of self worth as a woman. On board here.

Mrs Lonely, I had to chuckle at the last comment about sleeping with your head towards him.. I remember those days also. Hang in there.


Last edited by foreverfooled (May 17, 2017 6:35 pm)


May 18, 2017 4:50 am  #18

Re: Erection issues in GIDH

Hello! I am new here and so glad to have found you all! Just now joined and will be posting my life somewhere soon. So glad and maybe now I wont feel like I am totally alone in this mess.


May 18, 2017 6:39 am  #19

Re: Erection issues in GIDH

"..Thank you again, we girls need to hear more from straight guys."

I tend to stay out of these threads..   not sure what to make of my story..typical I guess;    I always had to initiate...my ex could go months without anything if I did not initiate.   I just thought this was how all women are.     I could never get enough but I just put up with it because I loved her...  I was not unhappy.

Then I find in her having an affair with all kinds of sex toys being delivered ..so she wanted sex just not with me.   In her rage she would deny ever ignoring me or pushing me away..    I can look back now
and I still don't see TGT but now I see "i must initiate" as just another form of her narcissism.   Her blaming me or the kids being around for any lack of intimacy but I was the only one trying.  But I tried every night..only when she rejected me when she started her affair did I give up.

 The rejection by our spouse is devastating...its inhumane..  it is a form of abuse.    If they really loved us they would be incapable of that.  

A straight guy who loves his wife would do anything to please her and would always want sex...(yes no matter how his wife looked or how much she weighed etc).   A guy rejecting his wife physically is a foreign
alien concept to me and is not normal.    Straight guys like woman..its ingrained in us.. (any form of gay porn or looking at guys...ewww..gross...not normal).    I read the forum here and I'm shocked to see how abnormal my ex was..you mean I don't have to feel guilty for showing affection or wanting sex?  You mean woman would actually want sex from a skinny middle aged geek?    What cruel person I was married to.



Last edited by Rob (May 18, 2017 6:55 am)

"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7

May 18, 2017 12:46 pm  #20

Re: Erection issues in GIDH


Last edited by Duped (November 11, 2019 2:53 pm)


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