Tulip wrote:

When my husband and I were married 35 years ago, we were part of the "Christian" belief that my husband could change his sexual orientation.   He through his life into changing from gay to straight.  When we did get married, those who supported him in his journey believed that he was ready for marriage.  That includes me, as I bought into the lie that through God and a lot of therapy, one can change his sexual orientation.  So he never came into the marriage trying to hide something from me.  We were both deceived by those in the church who believed this.  Over the years he would share recurring struggles regarding his sexual orientation with me but he would continue in his effort to be straight.  In recent years, we've both moved away from Christianity and both now believe that all research indicates that sexual orientation is something that one is born with and can't be changed.   My husband has always been my best friend, my advocate, my sounding board and a wonderful father to our children.  But I have come to understand that he can never love me in the way that I love him -- I am not referring to sex but intimacy.  He also has been secretly going to adult book stores and I think he has come to terms with the fact that he is gay, not ex-gay.  This is very painful for him as well and he would not have chosen this path for his life.   So we are both in a great deal of pain and I know it hurts him deeply to know how much pain this has caused me.  We are both in our 60s now.  It seems crazy to get divorced at this point in our lives, but it is so painful for me to live with someone who I feel is the love of my life although I know I will never be that to him.   Finances are not the issue if we were to divorce.  Any advice?  Are there others out there who have faced similar circumstances?   

Tulip.  I'm so sorry you find yourself here.  You asked for advice from others who have faced similar..  looks like you've already gotten quite a few replies.  This is a spectacular place because you can find people who have experienced what seems like the most unique and tragic situation you could imagine.  But we are here!  I'm glad you are here with us.  You will find support as you take back your life and move forward.  

I can't give you the kind of advice that others have.. but I will say that I think it would be a crime against yourself to say that at 60 years old you are too old to start over.  You have so many great years ahead of yourself and now that you've lived through the worst life has to offer you are going to love the wonderful future you have ahead of yourself.  Reach out and grab what you want for yourself!