straightandlost wrote:

Thanks Lostdad for your reply.
Is it actually worth it to do marriage counseling / couples therapy after all these sh*t? Has anyone actually lived through and ended up happy after therapy?

I have gone to my Dr. and had myself tested for HIV and STD, and all results came back negative. I also forced him to get tested again (another shocker: I found out that he does go for testing on a regular basis).

S&L
I think the counseling is worthwhile for a couple of reasons.  If I'm honest, i don't think it will work. I think your husband is clearly gay and he won't magically change.  You'll live in misery knowing you are not getting authentic emotional and physical love from him and you'll always struggle with trust issues.
But I think that counseling will help you for two reasons.  First it will help you communicate with him and share your pain and feelings through a neutral third party professional.  Second, it will give the appearance that you are still trying to make things work.. that you are completely committed to your vows.  It will give you more time to prepare for divorce and throw him off the trail for a while.  It will make you look like a saint to others.. having him cheat on you hundreds of times, but you are so devoted and you stand by your vows, so you still gave it a try through counseling.  Your family, friends and kids will appreciate that in the future.  Also it will make you look good to a judge if things come to that. 

I'm so glad that you test negative.  You have truly dodged a bullet.  Consider yourself very blessed for this in the midst of all of your pain and suffering!!!    Please refrain from sex with him in the future to stay safe and also to help yourself distance from him and make the separation easier for you.