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- Sam (Admin)
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
Not a lawyer... but...
Inheritance is treated differently in different jurisdictions. In some US states, it is considered community property and is divided. In others, however, (mine included) inheritance is specifically exempted, and is not divided. You must check your own state's laws for that.
- Sunflower
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
I agree, I live in Arizona and mine was not included.
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Thread Starter- Judy
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
Hildur,
Seek out a lawyer asap. This can easily be dealt with if you do.
Judy
- 2findinglove
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
Hilbur... This is my first time logging on. I too am 58 years old and been married 27 years to a bi-sexual man (although in my opinion he is gay... he had an affair 16 years ago with a man).
I am biding my time until his father passes away to divorce him. He is an only child and will then inherit a trust worth over $1 million dollars. His mother is deceased. I stayed in the marriage when I found out about his affair because I was pregnant with our 3rd daughter. She just turned 16.
- 2findinglove
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
Hilbur....Absolutely bring out that he is gay...and get your half of that Inheritance!!!
Last edited by 2findinglove (January 18, 2017 10:53 pm)
- 2findinglove
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
Hilbur... In my state... an inheritance even a trust in his name only is an acquired asset that took place during the marriage and you are entitled to 50% of it. Get you a lawyer who understands this!
- Rob
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
Hilbur,
Yeah. A disloyal spouse is an emergency. .when your house is on fire you call the fire department..when your spouse is cheating and abusing you you call a lawyer.
The divorce and lawyer are not you ending the marriage..our spouses did that long ago. They are support and help in our emergency.
My lawyer was worth every penny..even if I had to pay a dollar a day for the rest of my life ...helped me so much. I would never have seen my kids again. But then my love for my kids was absolute..and my ex a mean narcissist. I would have sold my organs if I had to.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Rob
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
Sunflower,
Sorry for hijacking your thread but trying to help others against these evil gay spouses...just when I think mine was the worst someone writes in with a worst predicament.
The other section you describe would be "the moving on" section or the "out of their closet now what" section. Still I'll be middle aged and could use help..im out of a horrible closet..im starting over and have a somewhat blank canvas..i have some things to cling to...but I feel adrift..alone..safe but sad..ok but fragile..
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
I understand that for those of us who are over 50 and in long marriages money is an issue. Many of us stay because divorce means a less financially secure future. It's true in my case. But's it also the case that I have used the money issue to avoid dealing with my co-dependency; it's hard to leave a long time marriage, hard to confront my own weaknesses. I know I'm getting something out of the marriage aside from the financial benefit, and I know that the thing I'm getting is not a positive thing; I stay because it allows me not to have to confront my fears about my ability to be alone and feel worthwhile on my own. I stay because I was conditioned to believe that I had worth only to the extent I was giving myself away and that I am worthy of love only if I am giving myself away. Staying in the marriage allows me to avoid dealing with my insecurity and to deflect my uncertainty about myself onto my spouse. The past two years since he's disclosed to me his wish he were female and his pleasure in feminizing himself, however, I have moved from "Maybe I can accept this" to "I need to stay for three more years for the money" to "I don't think I can stay another year." The emotional toll has become intolerable enough that for me the financial benefit is no longer seeming so necessary or so attractive, and that means I am moving to the place I will also be confronting my own problems, the ones that have kept me in a marriage in which I have been emotionally frozen out for years even before his disclosure. (I am fotunate that I have a secure job, and retirement and savings.)
As for inheritance, I'm on the other side of that fence. I expect to inherit from my mother, and I don't think he should get a penny of it; indeed, I'd been thinking that one reason I needed to divorce him sooner rather than later is to ensure he doesn't get any of it. But after reading about this here, I looked up the laws in my state--and inheritance here is considered non-marital property. So I'm safe. I'd urge everyone, though, to check the laws where you are; depending on what you find it could change your prospects and course of action. And don't for a minute think your spouses aren't doing the same.
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (January 19, 2017 8:57 am)
- 2findinglove
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Re: For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages
In my state my attorney told me that if I had a child with my husband after his affair... I couldn't state infidelity as grounds for divorce. I stayed in my marriage because after finding out about his affair... when I finally made the decision to tie my tubes so I couldn't have more children... she told me I was pregnant. He had told me the reason he cheated was because I had suffered 3 miscarriages and he felt I had pulled away from him.
" I was grieving you idiot!!" So I was ecstatic to be pregnant again and carried this third daughter while on bed rest for the first 4 months while home schooling my other two daughters. The day I delivered her he couldn't be found until later that afternoon, and the next day he left the hospital in the morning and didn't return until 4pm... guess he figured I wasn't going anywhere so he was safe.
Anyway... my miracle baby is now 16 and I'm wanting to leave ... but I've been a stay-at-home mom for 27 years and am a cancer survivor and I need his insurance and to be sure I can get half of his $1 million dollar inheritance when his 93 yr old father passes away.