It happens to men also but I can read the websites in my reference.

I particularly like she acknowledges that the holidays bring up all the old wounds of the our fake marriages.

I think the first part of the holidays is just admitting that they bring up the all the crap that our spouses created.     I think we should have amend the axiom;  

"You can spot a narcissist by the path of destruction they leave around them"  

to:

'You can spot a GID spouse by the path of destruction they leave around them"

As I write this,  alone for this half the holiday anyway,   I am trying on move on ...but this being my first divorced Christmas  it brings to the forefront how different this Christmas will be..a Christmas my narcissistic ex created.    

Cons:
I will miss my kids Christmas morning  but they are showing up.   (they want their gifts).
For the first time in my life on this earth I will wake up alone on Christmas morning.
It makes one feel worthless to be alone for any part of the holidays..

Pros:
I will not have to see her on Christmas at all
No pretending to live a lie just for the kids.
No one raging and swearing at mc
No one telling me my gifts, that I worked hard to pick out ,are crap  
No one telling me my family ,who showers gifts at Christmas, is crap.
No one going to church with me just for show.
..

I think you can all see gist of it..  the pros are outweighing the cons  by leaps and bounds.   And that is my best gift this Christmas..   

To any of  you here  who is alone this Christmas... you are valuable and so worthwhile.    I would be pay thousands to be with any of you kind people this Christmas.
 

Rob,
I have yet to see any accurate percentages of whether or not there are more men or women who are Gay with a straight spouse. Yes there are plenty of men that have been just as hurt. I think most of the stories I have read in the last 24 hours were authored by affected wives. I've actually spent the last day doing searches and reading links and there is a great deal of incredibly good info around if anybody looks for it. 

While some of it gives me great relief, I can't do it for long or it makes me sad. I'm looking forward to getting on with 2017 - a year where I start fresh by myself and I control my own life. The holidays are sad but at the same time, nice. I'm alone and not cooking and I can do what I want this weekend with no outside influence. Like your revelation, I realize my life is so much better without him. I'm just reeling from the stark difference of battling and being attacked to complete quiet and a peaceful existence. It's like being dropped out of a tornado of hatred and lies to the complete opposite. The enormous regret I have is not doing this decades ago. I wasted precious time hoping it would get better and work out. Merry Christmas! I wish you nothing but the best in 2017.
Judy

Last edited by Judy (December 24, 2016 7:53 pm)

yes, I agree Clif. 

Harder for men to recognise or acknowledge their wife is gay.  Easier for a woman to hide her sexuality.

And has there been a single man leaving his lesbian wife even tho she doesn't want him to?  No they only leave when they are being forced to whereas the women will leave even when the gay husband doesn't want them to.

Doesn't mean their wife isn't a lesbian.  "Oh, she's going on a work related 'do'"  I just feel like saying come on.  Don't you get it, those work related holidays with the women colleagues.  

If you believe my intuition then I see a number of relationships where the man is being led around by the nose by the gay wife.  Even tho he is the type of man that makes the nicest husband, the strong and kindly ones.