OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- phoenix
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
It seams like you path is pretty clear Ted.
You know that she is a lesbian and has cheated on you. You know that you won't be happy to be married to her in the future because you know that you can't trust her. You don't sound like you are co-dependent, which is what makes most of us stay with our gay spouses even when we shouldn't. You have sufficient assets, so you aren't worried about trying to survive alone. You actually sound upbeat about living your own life in the future and the freedom that comes with that. You don't have little kids at home that you are worried about.
I don't see anything holding you back. I won't say you have an easy road ahead of you. Surely you don't. It's never easy to separate from someone you've spent most of your life with. But I don't hear you talking about anything that would keep you in the relationship. You sound like you know what is best for you and are very capable of making it happen.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- TedB
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
Thanks for the pep talk. We were actually separated for awhile a few years back because I had to stay in The Caribbean to run my businesses while she got us settled in the States so I was away from her for most of almost 5 years, except for bimonthly visits to the States. So I guess I am going back there for most of the year and spend a lot of time with my son and his wife in Carolina which was my home before I met my wife. So I will have a lot of support from family and friends for sure. It seems so easy on paper but it still does hurt very badly!!!
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Thread Starter- phoenix
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
TedB,
Happy new year.
How are you doing? I hope you are emotionally strong and moving forward with your life and situation.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- TedB
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
Everything is going well. Had a lot of family around through the Holidays and everything went better than I expected. I am leaving the country on Saturday on business for three weeks and have two more business trips after I get back from this one so I will be away from the situation for most of the next three months. How are you doing?
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Thread Starter- phoenix
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
That was fast! I'm glad to hear you are doing well. Having work as a distraction is a great thing.
I'm still in purgatory, but getting closer to exit. My now ex-wife is closing on her new home next Monday and will be moving out shortly after. That will be a huge step. I'm both excited and worried... so it will be interesting to see which emotion becomes more prevalent. Will I be happy and relieved or will I be lonely and hurting? I'm sure it will be both, but which one will win.. I'm not sure yet..
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- Rob
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
lostdad,
I have a mix of all those emotions. But I will say this.. When I see my ex I do not get any feelings of longing..
...all that comes to mind is the cruel treatment and how glad I am to be away from her. My home is starting to feel like my safe haven.. which I did long for when in purgatory.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- maresyd
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
Rob...Yay!! Did you get your redecorating done? So glad to hear you are beginning to feel safe again. You deserve it!
“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely of places.”
- Rob
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
Mares,
House is never done but I rid myself of her colors.
Thanks for asking ..I can't tell you how long it took me to realize she wasn't going to just walk into my home one day.
Tedb,
Sounds like you have a great family. Mine has been god like ..with me through the whole thing.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- jjrab8486
- New member
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
I totally know how you feel. My wife just told me in October. I know the feelings you are going through. It sucks! Your world is turned upside down and you feel like you are drowning. Please don't do what I did and start drinking. Glad you have a therapist and a priest. That is a good start. Just know you are not alone. Most of all it is not your fault! Private message me if you like.
- maresyd
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Re: Wife just told me she thinks she is gay
jjrab8486, Glad you found us. Keep posting, everyone here knows how to support each other.
“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely of places.”