Daaaammmn.  Kel drops the mic on the boob story   I agree and call bullshit too.  I'll give you an example:

Now that we all know I had a boob job (due to my post about my recent car accident and having to have my uh, boobs inspected) I'll tell you why I call BS too.  Dear "Don't know what to do" - Kel is right.  Sure, you might have hurt her feelings with the boob comment HOWEVER she asked and asked for an answer from you.  And even if she didn't ask, there are still plenty of people in my life, including my OWN mother who at one time or another have suggested whatever beauty remedy they find acceptable to them.  We all hear this stuff at some point.  Why don't you: cut your hair, grow your hair, wear this, don't wear that, get bigger boobs, why are you so skinny, you could lose a few pounds.  You name it, we have all heard it.  The fact that she ended up with a head turning body isn't killing her right now.  There is no human on earth who would sign up for surgery against their will.   I signed up on my own in my late 20s (about 15 years ago).  And I went from a 34A to....wait for it.....a 34B.  As they unwrapped me and in my drunken muscle relaxer state from all the drugs they gave me I remember crying: that's it?  I went through all this for that??!!!  A B cup??!!  Well, my gay in denial ex was right there and guess what.  He smiled and agreed with me.  And to this day we laugh about it.  If your boobs are small your boobs are small.  So what.  So he said it.  So you said it.   I call BS all day long. 

Please don't think any more about suicide.  Lots of wise people have said on this site that if you look at it as a whole it seems insurmountable.  Look at it one day at a time.  Maybe today you decide living arrangements.  Maybe next week you file.  Tiny steps.  There's no way you can look at this as one big chunk to bite off.  You are going to get through this and one day you'll be just fine.  I promise!  I do.

Hi.  Yes isn't it hell, it is soul rape, it hurts like hell.  So I am particularly sorry to say this but I think you need to go back to the house and move back in.  If you want to be generous to her later on that's fine but establish your rights first.

I have noticed that people can end up being financially abused during a divorce and it is a double whammy to the hurt feelings for a long time after - don't let that happen to you.  

In the long run you will be better served by facing up to the truth in full of the person you married - put the shoe on the other foot.  If it was you who had the equivalent of a boob job, even if you regretted it can you imagine being so unkind  as to blame her for it?  wouldn't you be trying to spare her feelings?



 

Get rid of the gun. Your wife's sexual interest is not your fault. Your children need you more than ever.