OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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1 of 1- saffyd9
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Is He LGBT?
I met my partner when we were in our 20's. It was interesting as he was most comfortable around older Gay men or much older women but he was very romantic at the time. I told him that I wanted a long term committed relationship and a family. He promised me the world.
I liked that he didn't drink masses of alcohol or watch sports. I described him as Metrosexual - he liked facials and leg waxing.
Our intimate life was good. He always said he was attracted to my curves. Yes there was interesting stuff going on but it was fine.
Wherever we were in the world, he always found the LGBT community even bringing a Gay friend to visit me in the hospital after I gave birth to his son.
We were together 24 years, married with 2 children. I did everything a good wife and mother would do. Never glanced in anyone else's direction.
We were going through tough financial times and yes, I do believe we lost each other for a while. But, one day, he took me to dinner to a place I had been quite eager to visit and announced that he was leaving me and that he would do not partake in any form of counselling - that was it - and he sat back, signed with relief and drank his glass of wine. He moved out and proceeded to house share with a guy in a well-known LGBT area, a fair distance from our life and friends. All his close friends are mainly that same group of people - much older Gay men or older women. He has gone full circle.
Everyone around me says he is Gay. He has not come out. I don't know if he knows for sure. He may be Bi or unsure.
I am struggling with his choices. Not his choice of sexual orientation as I am so open and accepting. But his choice to pursue a long term committed relationship with kids if this was not his 'forever'. I feel quite used and betrayed. And I don't really know how to move on. Its been 2 years and we are divorced.
I feel like if he had just been open and honest, I may have been able to live with his choices. But he was dishonest and I know there was texting and goodness knows what else going on behind my back. I'm not sure I want to know.
Why would he do this to me? I am broken.
PS - I have LGBT friends and am supportive of the community. I don't have an issue with him being Gay/Bi.