Hi Deedok,

I am sorry you are here and having to go through this.  No one wants this.  I am glad you found this space.  It has been immensely helpful to me. I am also a similar age and am in the beginning stages of working through disclosure and what this means for my relationship and future.  

I wanted to say that I have all the same feelings of anger that I am in a relationship I didn't choose because I didn't have informed consent and I personally feel so used and resentful.  I wonder if I will be alone or if I can ever meet someone or trust someone again and I want to just rip the bandaid off and get this over with if I am going to have to move on deal with this hurt and try and make something new of my life after this immense grief and loss.  It is unfair and I feel like we have been strung along while they did what they needed to do to figure themselves out and the questions about if they really loved you or time was wasted are common every day for me. I hate that I feel like a placeholder.  It's not a good feeling.  

Similar situation when we met he pursued me and at that time there were so many reasons for me to choose a different life but I didn't.  We can't change what has happened and I hear you with your worries about the future. 

Know you are not alone.  Keep reaching out.